In this week’s parshah, Hashem sends the plague of darkness upon Mitzrayim and the passuk tells us that while everything was thick darkness among the Egyptians, “for all of Bnei Yisrael there was light in their homes.”
Commenting on these words, the holy Ruzhiner ztz”l says that every single Jew has a lichtigkeit, a special glow that comes from his neshamah, which is a spark of Hashem Himself. However, just like diamonds, the visible luster of each Jew depends on his setting. Beautifully polished diamonds set in gold sparkle brilliantly; rough diamonds lying in the dirt are dull and unattractive.
Someone who appreciates the value of his neshamah will invest the effort necessary to brush off the dirt and give prominence to the spiritual aspects of his life, over the material. It follows that if we notice a Jew who isn’t sparkling, whose soul isn’t shining and radiant, all it means is that he needs to be picked up, polished, and set in his rightful place. Only someone who appreciates the value of a diamond will go to the trouble of polishing and setting it in gold.
If you feel you’re married to a rough diamond, while it may not be your responsibility to polish them, maybe you are partially responsible for treasuring your diamond and inspiring them to bring out all the amazing facets of their personality and capabilities. Maybe you can alter your perspective so that instead of seeing a dull piece of inert matter with no potential, you start noticing what is at least a rough diamond, as within every Jew there is a Divine sparkle.
Some marriages do appear to be dull, without any spark of life or hope, and somewhere down the line things sadly fall apart. Sometimes, people remarry and suddenly begin to glow in their new setting. This doesn’t always happen, and if a person refuses to polish his neshamah then there’s not a lot anyone else can do. Nonetheless, whenever we’re faced with a situation that seems hopeless and lacking in light, it’s always worth trying to restore the sparkle and provide the golden setting.
