A Son, A Student
On the possuk יך∆נָב¿ל םָּ ̇¿נַּנƒׁ ̆¿ו – you should teach the Torah to your sons, so the Sifri (6:7) says, יך∆נָב¿׳ליך∆„יƒמ¿לַּ ּ̇לו≈‡ – the sons mentioned here are your disciples. It means that this possuk is telling us that it’s a mitzvah to teach Torah to other people. If you are capable, you should found an institution, a yeshivah. If you are not that capable, you can get people together and teach them. And if you’re least capable, at least teach your own sons. But it’s all included in “teaching your sons”.
So some think that it’s just a play on words here – the possuk means “teach your children” only that the Sages come along and twist it to bring out a point, a lesson. But no, it’s not so. It is included in the pshat; it’s included in the simple understanding of the possuk.
Unborn Children
Because what makes somebody a son? The fact that you beget him? The fact that he was born to you? No; it’s the fact that you teach him. Because you have a duty to build up others. ן≈ּב is from the word ןָי¿נƒּב, a building; the fact that he's born to you only makes it a bigger obligation. A child is a building and our job is to build up ‘children’ by teaching them. That’s actually how children are created.
Of course, having a child, that’s the first step. That’s also building because a physical child inherits from his parents his body and he inherits certain physical and mental characteristics. The two parents pool their various characteristics and it’s transmitted to the children. They physically create their child.
And that’s a very important beginning. You have to have a body otherwise you couldn't start. To be born, to be given a body, is a great gift and that's why a son has to be grateful to his father and mother forever. Even if they gave birth to a child and never again saw him, he has to be grateful for the physical existence that they gave him.
A Rebirth
But that’s only the beginning. Because now the father and mother have an especial obligation to make their child all over again by putting into their son's mind a set of ideas and ideals. That's the real relationship of a father to a son, a parent and a child. That’s what the Torah means יך∆נָב¿ל םָּ ̇¿נַּנƒׁ ̆¿ו – you have to teach your children; make him a student. You have a job now to take your son and you have to beget him all over again, to recreate him by giving him a mind, by making him a disciple.
You must teach him Torah. You must give him ideas. You must give him ideals. You must teach him how to look at the world. Like the mother, when she’s standing by the window with her little Chana’le and it’s raining outside, so she reminds herself of this obligation and she continues to create her child: “Look Chana’le, it’s raining outside. Isn’t that fun?” Chana’le has no sense; she hasn’t developed an attitude towards rain yet. So Chana’le says, “Yes, it’s fun.”
“Look at the beautiful rain coming down,” the mother says. “Hashem is sending us down all the food that we eat. It’s apples and cherries and danishes coming down from the sky. Rain brings down all good things for us.” Her mother is still the fountain of all wisdom and so she agrees with her mother. So this wise mother has created her child all over again because now for the rest of her life rain is going to be food and fun.
That’s called having a child; building a child. You must teach him about Hakadosh Baruch Hu and all the fundamentals connected with the service of Hakadosh Baruch Hu. You have to teach him how to live with Hakadosh Baruch Hu, how to live with his fellow man. It's a whole set of thoughts that you have to put into his brain. It's like putting a new brain into him.
Mind Over Matter
And therefore the one who creates in his child a set of ideas, that's the real parent. Because what's more important, the mind or the body? The mind is more important. There are a lot of people with bodies who have to be locked up in asylums. The mind is what makes the man.
That’s why when people go to the employment agency, the personnel director won't say, “Get on the scale.” Nobody pays by weight. That's not the point in employment, how much you weigh. The question is what do you have up here? Experience? Ability? Do you have good sense? Do you have knowledge, training? It's the mind that makes you valuable.
And therefore, when you create a physical child, even though you poured a lot of koach into him – reishis oni, he's the best of your strength; when a child is born he represents the strength of the father and mother. And you poured into him vitamins and all kinds of food and he grows up big and healthy. Very good! But you haven't finished the job yet. A big healthy boy or big healthy girl is a failure unless you have put into that head something that makes him your real child. לו≈‡ :יך∆נָב¿ל םָּ ̇¿נַּנƒׁ ̆¿ויך∆„יƒמ¿לַּ ̇ – they are the real children.
Adopted Parents
And therefore it's possible to be a parent of many people, even if you didn’t physically create them. If you speak to people, if you change part of their ideas you are making a ben out of them, you are building them up, ה∆נָּבƒי, and you are actually becoming their father. I told you once; I was seven years old and I was walking in the street with a relative, a distant relative. He had just come from Europe and I heard him say, “I saw a man come out of shul in our old little town after Maariv, and rubbed his hands together and said, ‘Ich hob gedavened a geshmake Maariv – I just davened a geshmake Maariv.’
“That is what’s geshmak in this world,” my relative told me. “To have a good davening.”
I’ll never forget that. He built my mind when he told me that. He made me his son.
Spiritual Children
It's not a mashal. And so if you happen not to have any children, don't be dismayed. There are a lot of children available in this world. If you teach other people, they actually become your children. And sometimes they become your children even more than their physical parents. That’s a din. The Gemara says in Bava Metzia (33a), ֹוּבַר ַ̇„≈בֲ‡ יוƒבָ‡ ַ̇„≈בֲ‡ – Suppose your father's horse breaks out of the stable and he runs in this direction. And your teacher's horse breaks out of the stable and runs in the opposite direction. Let's say your teacher has a horse; in the olden days it was like that.
So your father’s horse is running down Ocean Parkway and your rebbi’s horse is running down Kings Highway. Now, you can't run in both directions at once. But there is an obligation of hashovas aveidah, you have to bring back a lost thing. So whose horse should you try to retrieve first?
The Rebbe Reigns Supreme
Isn’t that a good question? You're standing and you don't know what to do; you're undecided. So the Gemara says, ̇∆מ∆„ֹו ̃ ֹוּבַר ַ̇„≈בֲ‡ – your rebbe’s lost article comes first. And he explains why: ֹו‡יƒב¡ה יוƒבָ‡∆ׁ ̆ה∆ּזַה םָלֹעו י≈ּיַח¿ל – Because your father brought you to this world, ‡ָּבַה םָלֹעו י≈ּיַח¿ל ֹו‡יƒב¿מ ֹוּבַר¿ו — but your teacher is bringing you to the Next World.
You hear that? Your rebbe is creating your mind – that’s what Olam Haba means; your mind is what you take with you. Your mind doesn't die. When a man is put into the grave his mind keeps on marching on. That's the part of him that exists forever – and therefore that makes your rebbe more of your father.
Of course if your father is paying your teacher, then your father is the one. If your father is paying tuition so the rebbe is only a shaliach, a messenger of the father. We're talking about the case where the father can't afford to do anything and the teacher is teaching you for nothing. Then your teacher, that's your father – because he created in you something that's eternal. Because that really is what a son is; it’s the one whose mind you created.
Students of Hashem
And now we come to the point – we can understand now a little bit of what it means יƒרֹכוּב יƒנּב ל≈‡ָר¿ׂ ̆ƒי, to be a ‘son’ of Hashem. It means we become His students. His Torah, His Teachings, have to be what builds our minds. All the ways of looking at the world; every kind of attitude we learn only from the Torah. He’s our Father because He is the One Who creates our minds.
Every kind of attitude, we are expected to learn only from the Torah. To be a son of Hakadosh Baruch Hu, to have Hakadosh Baruch Hu as a Father, means to have a mind that is created by Him. ,יך∆נָּביך∆„יƒמ¿לַּ ּ̇וּל≈‡ – We can only be called His children if we spend our lives synchronizing our little minds, our physical minds, with the tremendous and eternal and infinite Mind of Hakadosh Baruch Hu.
Thinking Good, Looking Good
It’s not the only thing of course. "You are my child” also means not only how you think but also how you look. That’s what the possuk says somewhere else: ם∆יכ≈ ֹ̃ל¡‡ 'הַל ם∆ּ ַ̇‡ יםƒנּב – You are sons of Hashem and therefore,ּו„¿„ֹּ‚¿ ̇ƒּ ̇ ‡ֹל – you should not lacerate yourselves (Devarim 14:1).
In the olden days, when someone died in the gentile family, they showed their mourning by taking out knives and cutting their skin and bleeding all over as a sign of mourning; or they would pull out clumps of their hair. But you can't do that, the Torah says: ם∆יכ≈ינ≈ﬠ ין≈ּב הָח¿רָ ּ̃ימוƒׂ ָ̆ ̇ ‡ֹל¿ו – Don’t make any bald spots on your head. A child of Hashem is an aristocrat and יםƒ‡ָנ ֹ̇יו¿הƒל ם∆ּ ַ̇‡ יםƒיכƒר¿ˆ – you have to be handsome because of that.
That's a teaching, open pessukim in the Chumash, that a Jew has to be good-looking. If you walk through the streets, you must make an impression, you must be dignified. You can't wear denim, you can’t walk in the street wearing shorts. It’s hot? Too bad. Your dignity comes first. You’re a prince and a prince has to make an impression on the world. It's a commandment, an open possuk: ם∆ּ ַ̇‡ יםƒנּב – You are children of Mine.
Divine Disciples
But much more than how we appear, being a child of Hashem means that we have to get all of our attitudes from Him, from His Torah. That’s the most salient aspect of being a son; when we speak of a son, it actually means somebody whose mind has been formed by the father. And therefore for us, the children of Hashem, the most important function is thinking about Him – His ways, His attitudes, His mitzvos, His ideals.
And that’s included in what Moshe Rabbeinu said in the Name of Hashem, ל≈‡ָר¿ׂ ̆ƒי יƒרֹכ¿ב יƒנּב 'ה רַמָ‡ הֹּכ – “Yisroel is My firstborn son.” Hakadosh Baruch Hu says, “I’m actually your Father, I actually begot you, if everything in your minds comes from Me.”
