A Daily Remembrance
Parashas Bo is the parashah of Yetziyas Mitzrayim, the parashah in which we were commanded to remember this exodus from Mitzrayim. We must remember it by day, and we must remember it at night—and we recite this last parashah of Krias Shema so as to observe this remembrance that the Ribbono shel Olam took us out of Mitzrayim. We must indeed have in mind to carry out this mitzvah of מצרים יציאת זכירת, for it is ruled that Mitzvos d’Oraisa require kavannah.
Following Krias Shema, we recite אבותינו עזרת, elaborating greatly on the details of Yetziyas Mitzrayim. We invoke the great miracles of סוף ים קריעת, for—as the sefarim hakedoshim teach us— it represented the culmination of the entire exodus.
Memory Is Rooted in Feeling
The degree to which we remember something is directly dependent upon how much feeling and emotion we felt towards it. When events and happenings overtake a person with emotion, he will remember them much more strongly and for much longer. Even if he didn’t plan to remember an event, and he didn’t review it in his mind—if it occupied a big space in his heart at the time, it remains etched in his heart and mind forever. Sometimes, he remembers nothing about that entire era of his life—he can’t recall anything before or after that event—but that event he remembers well for years to come as though it happened yesterday.
Most people remember their older sister’s wedding that took place when they were six years old—because it was just so exciting. The adult can picture everything about it even if he can’t remember a single other event that took place that year.
If someone embarrassed or hurt you when you were a young child, you will remember exactly where you were standing and what you were wearing. This is the rule: Anything that involves emotion remains with the person for a long time, because it has become etched in his heart, and it leaves an everlasting impression.
Recollection Is a Connection
Why indeed does it work this way? Why is that when we experience emotion connected to something, it remains etched in our memory forever? The sifrei kabbalah call it חיבור, connection. That is, if something drew on our emotions, we become connected to that event, and we can never untether ourselves from it. We live with that experience forever. It accompanies us through life, and it impacts our thoughts, attitudes, and conduct for eternity.
We do many things in the course of our lives. But most of them are forgotten as soon as we have done them; they’re unremarkable, and we’re not connected to them. But when we perform an action with emotion, when we invest our entire selves into it, we become connected with it, and we take it with us wherever we go. Years later, we cannot forget it, and it constantly influences our lives.
When a person experiences a traumatic incident, it enters very deeply into his psyche. The images of that event enter his mind, and he cannot leave it behind. It relentlessly goes along with him, and it affects everything he does and says. He’s panicked, he’s stressed, he’s suspicious and untrusting... all because of that event he experienced 25 years ago. “Let go already,” we want to tell him. “Why are you dragging along all this baggage? Why does have to affect you for decades?” But this isn’t how it works. This is the power of emotion; it forges a connection to what happened, and that connection remains forever.
