Purchase of Me’aras HaMachpeila
The Torah speaks at great length about the purchase of Sorah’s burial plot and how Avrohom paid a lot of money for her to be buried in a fitting location. We learn from here the importance of having a proper burial location strictly according to halacha so that a person’s soul will have true menucha.
Owning One’s Plot
Avrohom. It is ideal for a burial plot to belong to the niftar when he is buried. Thus, people customarily buy a burial plot (מעבר יבוק עמ' ר''ח ). This was the case with Avrohom Avinu, as the posuk says (פ' חיי שרה כ''ג ), “He should give me the Machpeila cave that is his, which is at the edge of his field. For full price he should give it to me in front of you for a burial property ... If only you would listen to me. I am giving money for the field; take it from me and I will bury my meis there.”
Yaakov. We also find that Yaakov Avinu gave instructions for him to be buried in Me’aras HaMachpeila, as the posuk says (פי' ויחי מ''ט כ''ט ,), He commanded them ... “Bury me with my forefathers, in the cave which is in the field of Efron HaChiti ... Avrohom bought the field from Efron HaChiti as a burial property ...” They buried him in the cave of the Machpeila field, which Avrohom bought as a burial property.
Yosef. We also find this regarding Yosef’s bones. The posuk says (יהושע כ''ד, ל''ב ), They buried Yosef’s bones, which Bnei Yisroel brought up from Mitzrayim, in Shechem, in the portion of the field that Yaakov bought ... with one hundred kesita.
During or After One’s Life?
While alive. Some are careful to buy a burial plot for themselves in their lifetime. The earliest source for this is from Yaakov Avinu. Yosef told Pharaoh (פ' ויחי נ', ה'), “My father had me vow, saying ‘Behold, I am dying. In my kever, which “כריתי לי” in Eretz Kenaan – bury me there.’” Rashi first gives a simple explanation, that Yaakov’s kever was already labeled and marked off for him [not actually dug (העמק דבר ); - based on Rama (יו''ד סי' של''ט ס''א )]. Rashi gives a second explanation, that Yaakov bought his portion of Me’aras HaMachpeila from Eisav. According to both explanations, Yaakov saw to it in his lifetime that he had a burial plot. The idea behind this is to subdue one’s yetzer (מלבי''ם שם ) by reminding himself about the day he will die (גמ' ברכת דף ה' ע''א ).
Designating the site while alive. Early tzaddikim in Eretz Yisroel would buy themselves a kever while alive (וכך עשה הרמב''ן, כתבי הרמב''ן ח''א עמ' שס''ח ). They would also daven, say some words of Torah, and give tzedaka there. In doing so, they elevated and sanctified the spot prepared for them (קב הישר פ''ו ).
Paying money. It is proper, even for a very poor person, to give some amount of money for a burial plot. There is a play on words that hints to this: “אי אפשר לפתיחת הקבר בלי דמים .” A minhag of our ancestors is Torah: it is important for one to be buried in his own plot, not a borrowed one. Thus, it is customary to pay money to gain ownership of the land (שו''ת חת''ס יו''ד סי' של''א ).
Segula for long life. Some mention that buying a burial plot is a segula for long life (תשובות והנהגות ח''א סי' תשי''ג, ח''ב סי' תר''ד, ארחות רבינו הקהילות יעקב ח''ד אבילות אות ל''ח ), but they do not cite a source. Some learn it from the juxtaposition of the pesukim in Chayei Sorah ( ,ג''כ כ'): The field and the cave in it went to Avrohom as a burial property from the sons of Cheis. And Avrohom was old, advanced in days, meaning to say that through buying a burial site, he was zocheh to old age (משנה הלכות פ' חיי שרה ).
Ensuring the plot complies with halacha. Another reason to buy during one’s lifetime that is relevant in Eretz Yisroel is because there are many burial sites in Eretz Yisroel that do not comply with halacha, as will be explained (below, 20 and on). Due to a lack of burial sites, the Chevros Kadisha sometimes offer burial sites that are not according to Torah, and the heirs, due to lack of knowledge or the sensitivity of the topic, are not aware of the halachic problems. When one buys during his lifetime, he can ensure the spot is in strict accordance with halacha.
After one’s life. When one’s heirs pay for a burial plot after the life of their loved ones, they also fulfill this concept of the niftar being buried in his own plot, as they buy it on behalf of the niftar and pay money for the burial (שו''ת חת''ס שם ).
