And Avraham came to eulogize Sarah and to cry for her. (23:2)
The passuk describes that Avraham Avinu first eulogized Sarah and only then cried for her. This seems to contradict the normal occurrence of events. Usually, upon receiving the terrible news that a spouse has passed away, one cries first and then eulogizes them. As well, according to halachah, the period set aside for eulogies is longer than that set aside for crying, as the Gemara (Moed Kattan 27b) says, the first three days of shiva are for crying, and all seven are for eulogies. Based on this, the mefarshim ask: Why did Avraham Avinu first eulogize Sarah and only then cry for her?
The Zera Shimshon explains, based on the Ma’avar Ya’abok, that crying during the eulogy brings great benefit to the soul of the departed. This is because, by way of the tears, the gates of tears, which are never locked, will open up for the deceased to enter through. Thus, the attribute of judgment is greatly mitigated through tears. However, the Ma’avar Ya’abok cautions that this is only true if the crying is for the benefit of the soul of the departed and not over the physical loss.
This is why at first, Avraham Avinu eulogized Sarah, and only then began to cry for her; he wanted his crying to be during the eulogy in order to give Sarah this great benefit mentioned in the Ma’avar Ya’abok.
Another explanation is that the normal crying that one cries upon hearing or seeing bad news is a normal reaction and does not reflect the greatness of the loss. Even the lowest person’s death naturally causes their relatives to shed tears. However, the passing of a truly great person causes one to cry over his loss long after the eulogies and natural crying are over. This was the case regarding Sarah. Therefore, even after the time for eulogizing Sarah was over, her greatness as a wife and a person brought Avraham Avinu to cry.
Eishes Chayil was said by Avraham Avinu about Sarah. The Zera Shimshon explains the entire Eishes Chayil. Here is a small excerpt:
עוז והדר לבושה ותשחק ליום אחרון (ל"א כ"ה)
Strength and majesty are her attire, and she joyfully awaits the last day. (Mishlei 31:25)
A woman who helps and enables her husband to learn Torah and keep the mitzvos merits reward for the Torah learning of her husband, as R’ Akiva told his students (Nedarim 50a), “Mine and your (Torah) is hers” (referring to his wife, Rochel). As well, the Gemara (Yoma 77a) says that the wives of talmidei chachomim who lose sleep (to help their husbands learn) are rewarded greatly by Hashem in the World to Come.
The Zohar (Vayechi 226b) says that the mitzvos that a person does create spiritual clothing for his neshamah in the World to Come. The Zera Shimshon says that the passuk refers to a woman who supports her husband in his Torah (oz) and mitzvos (hadar) in this world; through this, she merits a spiritual attire. And although she may endure difficulty in this world, she joyfully awaits the last day. In the World to Come, she will rejoice.
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