As said, when someone davens for his fellow, the potency of his tefillah his much greater, because it is a different sort of tefillah. And this strongly applies to the issue of nachas from children, so that a person should merit to see his children go on the proper path. Usually, when a person is tested in this regard, it’s a very challenging nisayon, and he becomes very pained and embarrassed. His tefillos for his child will be generally be centered on his own pain and on his thoughts about the future of his generations. It’s very difficult to think about anything but his pain and embarrassment... but this is a shame, because the more his tefillos will be focused on the Ribbono shel Olam, the more effective they will be.
It is easy to fool ourselves in this regard. A person will say, “What?! It seems to you that I mean myself?! I am pained over the chillul Shabbos... I can’t stand to see a person desecrating the holy Shabbos in my own home! I mean the Ribbono shel Olam! After all, I am not asking for money. I am asking for my child to be an ehrliche Yid and to establish a Yiddishe home.”
But this isn’t entirely true, for if you truly meant kevod Shamayim, you can daven for your friend’s son just as well. To Hashem it doesn’t matter which child you’re davening for.
Chazal give us an eitzah: Take your pain—because it is so deep—and daven for the pain of the Shechinah. And because it is difficult to focus on Hashem while we’re suffering, the eitzah is to daven for another person... for your friend’s son.
When the Binyan David Davened
The truth is that it goes even further. In the past, we have told the story of Rav Dovid Dov Meisels of Uhel (1875-1944), author of Binyan David, who was in danger of being drafted into the army. He came to his rebbe, the Shinover Rav, and the Rebbe told him, “Know that min haShamayim, they decreed this gezeirah on you because so many Jewish boys are suffering from the same fate, and are in great need of a yeshuah—and when you will daven, and your tefillah will be accepted in the merit of your illustrious ancestors, they, too, will be helped. Go and pour out your heart for a yeshuah, and you all will be helped!” And, of course, that is indeed what happened: The Binyan David davened for a yeshuah, and he was freed along with a number of other bachurim.
