By Rabbi Sholom DovBer Avtzon
Rabbi Sholom DovBer Goldshmid of blessed memory
Rabbi Sholom DovBer Goldshmid was a bochur in 770 and he would seek the Rebbe’s guidance in many aspects of his life. This was especially so when he came to the stage of shidduchim, he turned to the Lubavitcher Rebbe for guidance. Being that in those years there weren’t that many chassidim, it was easy to have a yechidus (personal audience) with the Rebbe, and this was especially so for the students of the yeshiva in 770.
During one yechidus the Rebbe told him that Ahavas Yisroel is giving a Jew something they want, and this applies to every Jew, male or female.
At that point he had no idea what the Rebbe was referring to, but he knew that if the Rebbe mentioned it, it is an important aspect that he should act on it when he has that opportunity. To him it wasn’t a question of if, but of when he would be called on to fulfill that directive.
Sometime later, Rabbi Hodakov [the Rebbe’s personal secretary] called him into his office and said that he would like to propose a young lady to him. He then informed him of her name, adding that she is a niece of Rabbi Yosef Weinberg.
Getting Advice from the Lubavitcher Rebbe
They met, and after some time they both were ready to become engaged, but he informed her that although he is ready, he first would ask the Rebbe for his opinion.
The Rebbe replied that it is an appropriate match, and then added, that if you would want me to be mesader kiddushin(officiate at the wedding), as is known, that I will only do so if the bride will wear a wig after the marriage.
When he mentioned this to her, she replied that a wig is befitting old women; it is not for me! [It should be noted that very few Orthodox women wore wigs in the early fifties]. Although he didn't argue with her or say anything negative, she noticed an expression of unhappiness on his face. Rabbi Weinberg also noticed it, and without her noticing, he hinted to him that he will talk to her and try to convince her to put on a wig.
The Girl was Very Upset
However, she was strong in her opinion and didn't feel that it is necessary to wear a wig and restated her decision that she wouldn’t. Yet at the same time she believed that her uncle discussed it with her on behalf of her chosson, and being that he was so disappointed that because of her refusal, the Rebbe wouldn’t officiate at his wedding, he would break off the engagement. So, she poured out her heart out to her uncle and said that she would like to speak to her chosson.
