For You Alone
And so we’re learning now that not only do you have to nurture within your heart the ideal of becoming great, you also have to keep it in your heart. ך∆ „ַב¿ל ך¿ל יו¿הƒי – It should be for you alone, יםƒרָז¿ל ין≈‡¿ו ךָ ̇ƒ‡ - and you shouldn’t share it with strangers (ibid. 5.17). Let’s say you’re going to come home and tell your mother that Rabbi Miller said that you can aspire to shleimus by shunning the environment that wants to hold you back; she’ll look at you like this (the Rav made a blank face) and it’s finished. Could be she’ll call the psychiatrist too. That’s what mothers do today when their children become too frum.
Even in the yeshivah. Let’s say, what you hear in this place you’ll tell somebody in the yeshiva. “You know, it’s a good idea to say ‘I love You Hashem at least once a day.’”
So first of all you see in his face that he thinks you’re crazy, that’s number one. The second is, he might even say something. “Oh, that’s nothing,” he’ll say, “It’s devarim beteilim. He’s wasting time talking about this subject. You have to learn Torah, Gemara and Tosfos. You have to be mekayem hilchos Shabbos and other halachos. What are you busy with these things?” And once you see how silly he thinks it is, it ruins the whole business. So keep it to yourself.
Don’t even tell it to your wife. Your wife might ridicule you, “Oh all of a sudden he’s becoming a tzaddik in de alter yahren.” Don’t say anything. Like the police say, whatever you say will be used against you.
