Part 2 of 2– Continued from last week –
The Circle Expands
The Michigan Friendship Circle has mushroomed in size and programming, developing many supplemental programs beyond the core Friends At Home. Today's menu of activities include martial arts, sports night, "My Friend" for younger volunteers, family programs, speakers, summer and winter day camp, learning and recreation for parents, and even a counseling and support program for recovering addicts.
Rochelle Adler wants to change the name from Friendship Circle to Family Circle. "This is not just about connections between kids and volunteers, but also parent to parent. We cry and laugh together and become like one big family. There is no pressure; everyone participates at the level that's comfortable for them."
Cathy Fogel, mother of twins with cerebral palsy, also found that the Friendship Circle's impact reached beyond the kids. "The Friendship Circle has become such an integral part of our lives. Our best friends have come from it, and it's the best thing that ever happened to our children!"
The Fogels gained more than friends for their children. "It has brought a new peace, love and Judaism to our home—before this there was no Judaism. Now our other son goes to a Jewish day school, we celebrate Shabbat dinner and are active and learning and spiritually growing." Cathy emphatically states, "Our family would not be as together or where we are now without it."
She was initially hesitant to get involved. "At first I was doubtful about joining; hey, we are givers, not takers. But I thought, 'What the heck? I'll try it—it's a way to help our kids make friends, as it is hard to form friendships with 'regular' families.' Now I don't know who likes it more—my kids or me! It has laid the foundation to help my family weather the storms and provided unique friendship and wonderful programs for my kids."
The Circle's Center
The crowning jewel of the Michigan Friendship Circle, an outward sign of the love many hold for this program, is the new Meer Family Friendship Center. Located on six acres of wooded land in West Bloomfield, the center serves as a home for all Friendship Circle activities. The facility hosts the innovative Ferber-Kaufman LifeTown. A 20,000 square foot, state-of-the-art facility, LifeTown serves as a therapy center, social meeting place and activity center for many special needs children and families, and public school groups as well.
The most striking feature of LifeTown, Weinberg Village, is essentially a movie set—a scale-model city street flanked on both sides by parked cars, lampposts, and storefronts. The "buildings" include a general store, movie theater, restaurant, pet shop and bank, with working, fully decorated interiors. Volunteers act as shopkeepers, pedestrians, and other townspeople. Children learn social skills in a fun, hands-on setting.
It may have started as a small project organized over the kitchen phone, but today Bassie Shemtov and her husband Levi are co-directors of an active organization and staff that directly impacts the lives of many hundreds, if not thousands. She shares some thoughts. "Thank G d, it's busy and exciting. The most exciting thing is spreading and actualizing the important message that the Rebbe always taught us. 'There's a precious inside to every person—including those who are outwardly different.'
"Our goal is to have as many teens and adults in the general community learn to accept people that are different, to see that they have lessons to teach us that can't be learned from any professor in the world.
"If there was less judgment of people, we would have a better society. We are trying to give people a passion and the training to love these kids."
Andi Gold knows that Bassie's vision is not pie in the sky, but unfolding now. "Webster's Dictionary defines the word friend as 'one attached to another by affection or esteem.' To observe the relationship between my daughter Alyssa and her volunteers, is to observe a beautiful relationship between friends, unencumbered by parental supervision or monetary transaction. When I see volunteers like these, I know the world will be a better place."
Beautiful physical plant and the professional services of the center notwithstanding, Friendship Circle's dynamic success stems from its "100% pure and natural" core.
It's the unsophisticated, unplugged, no bleeps, flashes or recorded voices, lo-tech, hands-on power of a sincere smile and genuine friendship.
Miriam Karp is an award-winning writer, artist, Judaic studies teacher and lecturer. Her paintings explore intimate moments in Jewish life. Her first book, Painting Zaidy's Dream: A Memoir of a Searching Soul, shares her story of search. Miriam lives in Cincinnati with her husband and family.
