Avraham was elderly, he was advanced in days. (Bereishis 24:1)
Said R. Yehudah son of Simon: Avraham requested old age. He said to Hashem: Master of the Worlds, when a person and his son enter a place, no one knows who they should honor. If you crown a person with old age, people will know who to honor.
Hakadosh Baruch Hu said to him: Indeed, you asked for a good thing, and it will start with you. From the beginning of Bereishis until here, it does not mention old age, and when Avraham appeared, Hashem gave him old age. Thus it says, “Avraham was elderly, advanced in days.” (Bereishis Rabbah 65:9)
Looking Aged
Avraham Avinu was the first person to look old. Until his time, everyone looked the same, whatever age they were. Avraham argued to Hashem that he and his son Yitzchak look the same, and people thus confuse them for one another. So he asked to look aged. Hashem answered him that it is a wonderful idea, and he will be the first person to look old.
This might make us think that Avraham wanted to look old just for a practical reason, so people will be able to tell him apart from his son Yitzchak.
But no. It says: ךֶתֹתוְפִׂשְּן בֵק חַצּם הוָדָי אֵנְּבִ מָיתִפָיְפָ י – You became most beautiful among people; grace was poured on your lips.
In the Midrash it says that this pasuk refers to Avraham. In other words, it wasn’t that Avraham wanted to look old just for a practical purpose; it was because he wanted to look beautiful, to look elderly. Avraham Avinu was crowned with beauty by looking old, with white hair and a white beard.
In our times, we don’t understand what it’s even talking about. Let’s say a woman would say to her friend: You look so nice, you really look old! People don’t think older is more beautiful. On the contrary, they spend millions just on looking young. Yet, Avraham wanted to look old.
It’s hard to get it. Why? What’s so beautiful about the appearance of an elderly person?
When I was a small child, and I heard people talking about the Alter fun Kelm, the Elder from Kelm, or the Alter fun Slabodka, it bothered me. Why are people trying to put them down? Why call them “old men”?
This is a mistake, of course. It’s obvious that in former times, the word “elderly” was not considered insulting. Nevertheless, nowadays it is common in Hebrew to refer to the Saba miKelem, the “grandfather from Kelm,” rather than to the Zakein miKelem, which would translate as the “Elder from Kelm.” The new generation doesn’t say “Elder” because it is not a compliment. But there were times when being called an elder was a compliment.
We will now talk about why being called “old” used to be considered a compliment, and today it is an insult. First I will give a simple explanation. Then I will offer a deeper and more correct explanation.
Long Past, Short Future
There are three points in a person’s life: past, present and future.
When a person looks back on his past, and thinks about what he achieved, what he built in his lifetime, usually the answer is: not much. Regarding the present, well, how much can a person accomplish in a single moment? Zilch. Only the future looks big and promising. Wow, what a beautiful future. People dream of becoming rich, wise, righteous... The past and present are not worth much. Only the future is rosy.
Accordingly, an old person who has a long past and a short future is kind of worthless. How much longer will he live? A year? Two years? He already has one foot in the grave. This is why being called “old” is insulting nowadays.
In previous generations, people looked at it just the opposite. The future is nothing, because a person can’t know what will be tomorrow. You can’t rely on the future. So the main thing is the past. That is where a person has a trunk packed full of greatness. He learned a lot of Torah; he did a lot of mitzvos with mesirus nefesh.
So in former times, it was more respectable to look old, with a white beard, because it meant that this Jew has a trunk full of greatness behind him. He is a great person. He has a big past and a small future. But someone who is still young, assumedly did not accomplish much yet. He hardly has anything. As for his future, who knows what will be tomorrow? So he is not worth a lot.
Live the Moments
הָנָׁת שַאְי מָר חֶׁשֲם אָהָרְבַי אֵּיַי חֵנְׁי שֵמְה יֶּלֵאְ ויםִנָׁ שׁשֵמָחְה וָנָׁים שִעְבִׁשְו – These are the days of the years of Avraham that he lived: a hundred years and seventy years and five years.
This is what it says about Avraham. Whereas about Sarah it says הָרָׂי שֵּיַי חֵנְׁש – “The years of the life of Sarah.” Why the difference? Why does it say “the days of the years... that he lived” about Avraham, but not about Sarah?
I once heard in the name of R. Yerucham of Mir that he asked: What does it mean “to live”? When a person eats pizza or felafel, is that called “living”? Not at all. “To live” means moments of accomplishment, of greatness, of closeness to Hashem.
Usually, if a person lives to be eighty, he can hope to find in his lifetime a few moments like this. A moment here, a moment there. If a person can put together a few years of true life, this is greatness.
Avraham Avinu lived 175 years of true, pure life. There was not a moment that he didn’t live in the true sense of the word. Not a moment that Avraham Avinu would not call “life.”
So when he came to the age of 175, Avraham said to Hashem: Ribono shel Olam, I want a label that testifies that I am “advanced in days,” that I have a wonderful past, that I am carrying on my back one hundred and seventy-five years of greatness. I deserve a medal, a white beard!
But when most people nowadays come to the age of eighty, what did they accomplish during all those years they had? They had dreams, but the dreams did not come true. So nowadays, old age doesn’t mean a lot.
This is the simple explanation. Now we will go deeper.
Old Age is Nowness
According to what we have been saying, what has true worth? There is one thing that has real value, and that is the present. If a person can pray and say Baruch Attah... Melech Ha’olam, if he can say Baruch Hu uvaruch Shemo, this moment is a moment of greatness. It is worth it; it is valuable. Because this is what he really has. We don’t have the past or the future. They are out of our hands. The only thing we have is the present.
How much worth is there to the present, to this moment? A person’s present is worth as much as his past. We will explain.
Let’s imagine Avraham Avinu waking up in the morning of his 175th birthday. And let’s assume he knows that this afternoon he is going on to Olam Haba, to Gan Eden. Avraham has in his treasure chest 175 years of the greatness of Avraham Avinu. He didn’t waste a moment of his life. He is “advanced in days.”
Where is he going? To Olam Haba, to eternity. But no, right now he is going to daven Shacharis, and this Shacharis prayer is not like the Shacharis that a twenty-year-old prays. It is also not the Shacharis of a fifty-year-old, or even of a 120-year-old. This is a Shacharis that has in it the greatness of 175 years of greatness and spiritual elevation. Avraham Avinu put 175 years of greatness into one Shacharis prayer.
This is an elder. This is an old person. Being old means today I am old, and I want people to know that I am old, so they will understand and value what “today” signifies.
Imagine there is a job search for a person who can serve as rosh yeshivah of a large, well-known yeshivah. Someone offers his eighteen-year-old friend as a candidate for the position. Would anyone take it seriously? For sure not. This position needs someone at least the age of forty, because he has to be a person with a history of forty years.
But why is this so? What do we care if he is a young man under twenty?
Because when he gets up to deliver a shiur, it is meant to be a shiur on the quality-level of forty years of greatness. It’s not an issue of the past; it’s an issue of the present. This present moment needs to have the greatness of forty years.
An old person is not a great person because he has a past. This is a mistake. He is great because he has a present. When he davens today, when he learns today, he is putting eighty or a hundred years of greatness into everything he does. This causes his present to possess a very high quality. This is the reason that being old is a big thing.
It was worth it for Avraham Avinu to put in 175 years of greatness in order to pray one proper Shemoneh Esreh.
