A man who had been distant from Torah observance and mitzvos once shared his story of doing Teshuva. He was fortunate to have a Rav who guided him on his journey. Whenever he faced doubts, and those returning to faith often have many questions, he would consult his Rav. One issue that preoccupied him deeply was his outward appearance. He was eager to immediately grow a beard and change his external look. However, his Rav disagreed and instructed him not to alter his appearance at all. The Rav explained that such changes might alienate his close family. Instead, he advised the man to focus on spiritual growth and creating a positive, pleasant atmosphere around him. Over time, his wife and children began to draw closer to faith as well. Eventually, he learned that his family had secretly decided they would distance themselves from him if he started growing peiyos and a beard. At that moment, he understood the wisdom of his Rav's counsel, which had protected him from making extreme changes that could have pushed his family away. (Of course, this story is not a directive for everyone; each person should always consult their own Rav.)
HaKadosh Baruch Hu promised Avraham that he would pass away in a "good old age," meaning he would see his descendants walking on the path of righteousness. In our parsha, the Torah recounts (25:9), 'ויקברו אתו יצחק וישמעאל בניו' - ‘Yitzchak and Yishmael, his sons, buried him.’ Rashi comments, ‘From here, we learn that Yishmael did Teshuva and allowed Yitzchak to lead before him, fulfilling the promise of a 'good old age' for Avraham.’ But how do we know Yishmael did Teshuva? If he had a long beard and peiyos, it would have been obvious, and there would be no need to deduce it from the posuk. So what is the answer? The very fact that Yishmael changed his actions and showed respect by letting Yitzchak, the talmid chacham, go first, demonstrates his Teshuva.
We are all, to some extent, constantly engaged in Teshuva—this includes even the most righteous among us, and certainly ordinary people. The Torah teaches us what it means to be a ‘baal teshuva’. It is not enough to regret past misdeeds; one must actively work to change and improve his actions. Therefore, everyone should dedicate time each day to reflect on his deeds. When they identify a wrong action, they should immediately correct it and change their ways. In this way, one can live a life of continuous Teshuva.
-Tiv HaTorah – Chayei Sarah
