Like many mothers, Shirley Millman always struggled to get her sons to do their chores and keep the house clean.
"I am NOT the maid" Shirley often said.
When the oldest Millman boy Danny went off to college, he called his mother a week after school started to report a strange conversation he overheard.
“Ma,” said Danny, “There’s a dormitory maid and she was in the men’s restroom cleaning up and then she saw a student who hadn’t picked up after himself and then you know what she said to him, "I am NOT your mother!"
"If you fall, I'll be there." — Floor
"To succeed in life, you need three things: a wishbone, a backbone, and a funny bone." — Reba McEntire
"Laughter is the shock absorber that eases the blow of life."
Who invented King Arthur's round table? Sir Cumference.
I want to be a doctor, but I don't have enough patience.
Mia, did you hear about the dog that had a bad day at work? It was ruff.
I once hired a limo but when it arrived, the guy driving it walked off! I said "Excuse me? Are you not going to drive me?" The guy told me that the price didn't include a driver... ... so I'd spent $400 on a limo and have nothing to chauffeur it!
