Middos
Torah Wellsprings | November 10, 2023
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Middos

Torah Wellsprings | December 31, 2025

The Siduro shel Shabbos (vol.1 1:4) tells about the many miracles that Eliezer saw Rivkah perform. One miracle was that when she came to draw water from the well, the water came up to her, as it states (24:17) וירץ לקראתה העבד, "The servant ran towards her," and Rashi writes, "He ran because he saw that the water came up towards her." The Siduro Shel Shabbos explains that it wasn't only the water that came up to Rivkah, but the entire well came to Rivkah. The well picked itself up from its place and moved towards Rivkah. The proof is that Eliezer was standing by the well, as it states (24:13) המים עין על נצב אנכי הנה, "Behold I am standing by the fountain of water." Why did he have to run towards Rivkah? It must be that the entire well came towards Rivkah. Another miracle that transpired was that the camels drank just a little bit, and they were satisfied, and they didn't need more. The Siduro Shel Shabbos discusses these and other miracles that Eliezer witnessed, but that wasn't the primary reason Eliezer understood that Rivkah was fitting for Yitzchak. The main sign was that Rivkah was a baalas gemilas chasadim, and that she helped Eliezer with even more than he requested. That was the most significant sign that Rivkah was a fitting shidduch for Yitzchak.

Yitzchak married Rivkah because of her middos and not because of the miracles that happened around her. When Rivkah was brought to Sarah's tent, Yitzchak saw that the three miracles that occurred with his mother had returned in Rivkah's merits. There was a cloud over the tent, there was a blessing in the dough, and the Shabbos lecht remained lit until the following week. Rashi (24:67) writes, "When Sarah was niftarah, these miracles stopped, and Rivkah came, and they returned." But it wasn't because of these miracles that Yitzchak married Rivkah. He married her because he knew that she was a baalas gemilus chasadim. Rebbe Yissachar Dov of Belz zt'l proves this from Targum Yonason (24:67) כעובדי דתקנן עובדהא דחמא בגין ורחמה אמיה, "He loved her because he saw that her deeds were good like the deeds of his mother." He married Rivkah for her good deeds and not for the miracles she performed. The Siduro Shel Shabbos explains that this tells us that good middos is an even greater praise than someone who is able to perform miracles.

A group of chasidim were once discussing the miracles that their respective rebbe performed. They were saying things like, "Whenever my rebbe davens, Hashem listens to his tefillah and answers him." There was a chasid standing off to the side without participating in the conversation. They asked him, "Tell us a miracle that your Rebbe performed!" He replied, "I don't know if Hashem does everything that my rebbe requests, but this I can tell you: My rebbe does everything that Hashem requests." This is the greatest level, to do Hashem's will. That is greater than the miracles that one performs. As Rebbe Moshe Kobriner zt'l explained it, Hashem performs the miracles. The people's part is to do Hashem's will.

Examples of Rivkah's Gemilus Chasadim

Let us discuss some examples of Rivkah's gemilus chasadim, as expressed in the Torah and explained by the commentaries:

Eliezer performed a test to determine who was a fitting wife for Yitzchak. He asked for a sip of water. If the maiden would reply (24:14), אשקה גמליך וגם שתה, "Drink and I will also give water to your camels, הוכחת אתה יצחק לעבדך, you have designated her for your servant, Yitzchak." Things didn’t go exactly as planned. He asked Rivkah for water, and she gave it to him. At this point, she didn’t yet mention the camels. Then it states (24:19), גם ותאמר להשקותו ותכל לשתות כלו אם עד אשאב לגמליך, "She finished giving him to drink, and she said, 'I will also draw for your camels, until they have finished drinking.'" She didn’t mention the camels until Eliezer finished drinking. Why?

The Or HaChaim (24:18) explains that Rivkah acted with greater piety than Eliezer had tested her for. "Rivkah didn’t tell Eliezer immediately that she would give water to his camels, demonstrating her generosity. The tzaddekes figured that if she told Eliezer right away that she would draw water for his camels, too, he might gulp his water down [and drink less than he needed to quench his thirst] because he knows that Rivkah still has a lot of work, to draw water for all the camels. Rivkah didn’t tell Eliezer her plans, so Eliezer would drink at his own pace, as much as he needed, because Eliezer thought she was giving water just to him. After he finished drinking, she said, 'I will draw for your camels.'"

The Shlah found in the parashah another remarkable facet of Rivkah's courtesy and kindness. After Eliezer finished drinking, it states (24:20), אל עוד ותרץ השקת אל כדה ותער ותמהר הבאר, "She quickly poured out the jug... And she ran to the well..." The Shlah HaKadosh zt'l (end of Chaya Sara) writes, "After Rivkah gave water to Eliezer, some water was left in the jug, but Rivkah didn’t know what to do with it. If she pours this water for the camels, it will appear as if she compares them to Eliezer, for she gives them both to drink from the same utensil. On the other hand, pouring water on the ground is disrespectful. It might imply that since Eliezer drank from the water, it isn't good anymore. Rivkah acted with wisdom. She ran and rushed, making it appear that due to her haste, she dropped the jug, and the water spilled out. This way, Eliezer's honor was maintained."

At the beginning of this episode, Eliezer is called עבד, a slave. For example, it states (24:10, 17), העבד וירץ ...העבד ויקח. Afterwards, Eliezer is called איש (see pasuk 21 and 26, והאיש האיש ויקד ...משתאה). What caused the change? I heard from a talmid chacham that the change happened when Rivkah called Eliezer אדוני, "my master." As she said (24:18), שתה אדוני, "Drink my master." Eliezer was a slave and wasn't accustomed to people addressing him with honor. She spoke to him with respect, and this lifted his self-esteem. And since he felt like an איש, the Torah also calls him that way.

The Siduro shel Shabbos (vol.1 1:4) tells about the many miracles that Eliezer saw Rivkah perform. One miracle was that when she came to draw water from the well, the water came up to her, as it states (24:17) וירץ לקראתה העבד, "The servant ran towards her," and Rashi writes, "He ran because he saw that the water came up towards her." The Siduro Shel Shabbos explains that it wasn't only the water that came up to Rivkah, but the entire well came to Rivkah. The well picked itself up from its place and moved towards Rivkah. The proof is that Eliezer was standing by the well, as it states (24:13) המים עין על נצב אנכי הנה, "Behold I am standing by the fountain of water." Why did he have to run towards Rivkah? It must be that the entire well came towards Rivkah. Another miracle that transpired was that the camels drank just a little bit, and they were satisfied, and they didn't need more. The Siduro Shel Shabbos discusses these and other miracles that Eliezer witnessed, but that wasn't the primary reason Eliezer understood that Rivkah was fitting for Yitzchak. The main sign was that Rivkah was a baalas gemilas chasadim, and that she helped Eliezer with even more than he requested. That was the most significant sign that Rivkah was a fitting shidduch for Yitzchak.

Yitzchak married Rivkah because of her middos and not because of the miracles that happened around her. When Rivkah was brought to Sarah's tent, Yitzchak saw that the three miracles that occurred with his mother had returned in Rivkah's merits. There was a cloud over the tent, there was a blessing in the dough, and the Shabbos lecht remained lit until the following week. Rashi (24:67) writes, "When Sarah was niftarah, these miracles stopped, and Rivkah came, and they returned." But it wasn't because of these miracles that Yitzchak married Rivkah. He married her because he knew that she was a baalas gemilus chasadim. Rebbe Yissachar Dov of Belz zt'l proves this from Targum Yonason (24:67) כעובדי דתקנן עובדהא דחמא בגין ורחמה אמיה, "He loved her because he saw that her deeds were good like the deeds of his mother." He married Rivkah for her good deeds and not for the miracles she performed. The Siduro Shel Shabbos explains that this tells us that good middos is an even greater praise than someone who is able to perform miracles.

A group of chasidim were once discussing the miracles that their respective rebbe performed. They were saying things like, "Whenever my rebbe davens, Hashem listens to his tefillah and answers him." There was a chasid standing off to the side without participating in the conversation. They asked him, "Tell us a miracle that your Rebbe performed!" He replied, "I don't know if Hashem does everything that my rebbe requests, but this I can tell you: My rebbe does everything that Hashem requests." This is the greatest level, to do Hashem's will. That is greater than the miracles that one performs. As Rebbe Moshe Kobriner zt'l explained it, Hashem performs the miracles. The people's part is to do Hashem's will.

Examples of Rivkah's Gemilus Chasadim

Let us discuss some examples of Rivkah's gemilus chasadim, as expressed in the Torah and explained by the commentaries:

Eliezer performed a test to determine who was a fitting wife for Yitzchak. He asked for a sip of water. If the maiden would reply (24:14), אשקה גמליך וגם שתה, "Drink and I will also give water to your camels, הוכחת אתה יצחק לעבדך, you have designated her for your servant, Yitzchak." Things didn’t go exactly as planned. He asked Rivkah for water, and she gave it to him. At this point, she didn’t yet mention the camels. Then it states (24:19), גם ותאמר להשקותו ותכל לשתות כלו אם עד אשאב לגמליך, "She finished giving him to drink, and she said, 'I will also draw for your camels, until they have finished drinking.'" She didn’t mention the camels until Eliezer finished drinking. Why?

The Or HaChaim (24:18) explains that Rivkah acted with greater piety than Eliezer had tested her for. "Rivkah didn’t tell Eliezer immediately that she would give water to his camels, demonstrating her generosity. The tzaddekes figured that if she told Eliezer right away that she would draw water for his camels, too, he might gulp his water down [and drink less than he needed to quench his thirst] because he knows that Rivkah still has a lot of work, to draw water for all the camels. Rivkah didn’t tell Eliezer her plans, so Eliezer would drink at his own pace, as much as he needed, because Eliezer thought she was giving water just to him. After he finished drinking, she said, 'I will draw for your camels.'"

The Shlah found in the parashah another remarkable facet of Rivkah's courtesy and kindness. After Eliezer finished drinking, it states (24:20), אל עוד ותרץ השקת אל כדה ותער ותמהר הבאר, "She quickly poured out the jug... And she ran to the well..." The Shlah HaKadosh zt'l (end of Chaya Sara) writes, "After Rivkah gave water to Eliezer, some water was left in the jug, but Rivkah didn’t know what to do with it. If she pours this water for the camels, it will appear as if she compares them to Eliezer, for she gives them both to drink from the same utensil. On the other hand, pouring water on the ground is disrespectful. It might imply that since Eliezer drank from the water, it isn't good anymore. Rivkah acted with wisdom. She ran and rushed, making it appear that due to her haste, she dropped the jug, and the water spilled out. This way, Eliezer's honor was maintained."

At the beginning of this episode, Eliezer is called עבד, a slave. For example, it states (24:10, 17), העבד וירץ ...העבד ויקח. Afterwards, Eliezer is called איש (see pasuk 21 and 26, והאיש האיש ויקד ...משתאה). What caused the change? I heard from a talmid chacham that the change happened when Rivkah called Eliezer אדוני, "my master." As she said (24:18), שתה אדוני, "Drink my master." Eliezer was a slave and wasn't accustomed to people addressing him with honor. She spoke to him with respect, and this lifted his self-esteem. And since he felt like an איש, the Torah also calls him that way.

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