Summary and Practical Conclusions

1. The soul of a husband and wife is, at its root, one soul. When that soul descends into this world, however, it is divided in two: one part is placed within the man, and the other part within the woman.
2. The Holy One, blessed be He, created a period of separation between husband and wife, from the time they are born until the moment they enter the chuppah, so that each one can prepare properly for marriage — the stage in which their true wholeness is realized. Then, when they unite, they possess the inner tools needed to build a shared life filled with delight and love. Only in this way, after the great preparation each one undergoes during the years of separation, can their union become a desirable dwelling place for Hashem in the lower realms.
3. Even if a person has many friends, students and acquaintances, and even if he imagines that he has attained completion, he must know that without the other part of his soul — his covenantal wife — he remains alone. Even if he stands among thousands and tens of thousands, he is still alone. His body is divided, his nefesh is divided, his ruach is divided, and his neshamah is incomplete.

   This is what the Torah established when it said: “It is not good for man to be alone.” Man is not whole when he is alone. As long as he is not married, he has not yet attained his full completion.

4. Moreover, a person can be married and still live alone — if he does not relate to his wife with unity, respect, and shared purpose. Such a person is still described as “not good,” for he has not yet brought forth the good hidden within him through true love for his wife.

   As long as he has not actualized the powers concealed within him — unconditional love for his wife and acts of kindness without expectation of return, not once but every day — he has not yet revealed the inner good hidden within him. The Divine image within him remains concealed and subdued beneath the animal soul, and he is therefore still defined as “not good.”

5. Let us conclude with the words of the Ramak, of blessed memory:

   “As long as a man has not married, it is clear that the Shechinah is not with him at all, for the Shechinah rests upon a person primarily through the feminine dimension. A man stands between two feminine dimensions: the lower, physical female, who receives from him the marital obligations of sustenance, clothing, and conjugal life; and the Shechinah above him, which rests upon him to bless him with all of these, so that he may give and continue giving to his covenantal wife.

   This follows the pattern of Tiferet, which stands between two feminine dimensions: the higher mother, who bestows upon him all that he needs, and the lower mother, who receives from him sustenance, clothing, and conjugal life — chesed, din, and rachamim, as is known. The Shechinah does not come to him unless he resembles the supernal order.”

Fortunate is one who merits a blissful and blessed life with much shalom bayit!