The verb for “loving” appears in the Bible for the first time when Hashem commands Abraham to offer up his son “that he loves” (Gen. 22:2) — Isaac. Afterwards, Isaac himself becomes the subject of ahavah, as the Bible reports that after he married his wife Rebecca, “he loved her” (Gen. 24:67). Later on, Isaac is said to “love” his son Esau (Gen. 25:28) and asks him to prepare for him the delicacies that he “loves” before receiving special blessings (Gen. 27:4, 27:9, 27:14). The theme of ahavah continues in the book of Genesis with Rebecca “loving” Jacob (Gen. 25:28), Jacob “loving” his wife Rachel (Gen. 29:18, 29:30), Jacob “loving” his son Joseph (Gen. 37:3, 44:20), and so forth. In all of these passages — and many more — variations of the term ahavah are used. This essay attempts to hone in on the exact meaning of ahavah, and how the idea it represents may differ from other terms or conceptions of “love.”
Rabbi Pinchas Eliyahu Horowitz of Vilna (1765–1802) in his work Sefer HaBrit discusses the concept of ahavah at great length, and categorizes different types of ahavah as well as the interplay between ahavah and yirah. He especially elaborates on the distinction between what the rabbis (Avot 5:16) call “love which depends on a matter” and “love which does not depend on a matter.” His most basic definition of ahavah is that "Love is the expansion of the soul and its joy in something that pleases it, desiring it more than anything else. It opens the chambers of the heart, and the vital spirits within it will run alongside all the parts of the body." Essentially, his definition of ahavah highlights “love” as an emotional experience that involves a deep connection, joy, desire, and the positive physiological and psychological impacts it has on an individual.
He emphasizes how love is a profound and transformative emotion that extends beyond mere physical attraction or fondness. His description of the “opening of the chambers of the heart” and the “flow of vital spirits” suggest a profound, almost spiritual, connection associated with “love.” Rabbi Horowitz applies this understanding of “love” both to the commandment to “love” Hashem (Deut. 6:5) and the commandment to “love” fellow Jews (Lev. 19:18).
However, Rabbi Eliyahu Lopian (Lev Eliyahu vol. 1 p. 110) explains that most people are mistaken in their understanding of the concept of “love.” People think that love refers to a pleasant feeling that fills a person when in the company of someone defined as their “beloved.” Meaning, they delight in themselves through their loved one, using their beloved as merely a tool for their own enjoyment. However, Rabbi Lopian asserts, this understanding love is incorrect. The way he explains it, true love is that which awakens a person to give assistance to their friend and to bestow goodness upon them. In other words, true love is that which arouses a person to provide for their beloved and make them happy. For a similar lesson, see Rabbi Eliyahu Eliezer Dessler’s Michtav M’Eliyahu, vol. 1 pp. 32-36.
Rabbi Lopian famously compared this to someone entering a restaurant to eat, and when the waiter asks, "What do you like?" they answer, "I love fish." Clearly, this person does not love the fish, but rather he loves himself and the good sensations he experiences when eating fish. The Bible relates that when Jacob had to work for Laban for seven years in order to marry Laban's daughter Rachel, "those [years] were in his [Jacob's] eyes like several days in his love [b’ahavato] of her" (Gen. 29:20). This passage is very difficult to understand, because according to the popular conception of “love,” when someone loves something and wants to attain it, then the days of waiting are just unbearable. But with the supernal type of “love” that Rabbi Lopian was talking about, it’s not about one person attaining some pleasant feeling, but about one giving to one’s beloved. Hence, the more that Jacob worked for his beloved’s father, the more he felt like he was giving towards her and fulfilling his ahavah. Of course, this is the exact opposite of the popular conception of “love,” whereby the lover really loves themselves, meaning they love to delight in themselves through somebody else.
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To read the rest of this essay about the Hebrew word ahavah and related terms, and find out what “love” truly means, visit us online at: http://ohr.edu/this_week/whats_in_a_word/
