Rabbi Rabinovitz went in to beg his board of directors to buy a new synagogue chandelier. Arguing and pleading for over an hour, he eventually sat down believing he had failed.
Suddenly, the president of the board said, "Why are we wasting time talking'? "First of all, a chandelier, ... why, we haven’t got anyone who could even spell it. Second, we haven’t got anyone who could even play it. And lastly, what we really need in the shul is more light!"
In their infinite wisdom, the gabbaim gave hagbah to Moshe, the puniest guy in the shul. With great effort, Moshe manages to complete the act but nearly faints in doing so. He then vows he will never be embarrassed like that again. He joins a local gym and commences a six months heavy training course - push ups, sit ups, chinning, weight lifting, 10Ks - the whole thing.
Six month’s later, he's back in shul and the Gabbaim call him up again. This time Moshe picks up the Sefer like it was made of feathers, and flips it in the air. While the Torah is spinning, Moshe does a somersault and gets on his feet just in time to catch the falling Torah. He then turns to the Gabbaim and ays, "What do you think of that, then?"
The Gabbai replies, "Very nice, but we gave you Shishi."
An Irishman walks out of a bar
