Novardokers talked about: חַתֶּמ tension. When certain people make you tense, it means you have a Kavod issue. They scare you, because you don’t have much poise in their presence. Novardokers would Davka hang around those scary people, to overcome their: חַתֶּמ tension and their fear.
They would Davka stick around, and they would learn not to view humans as gods [which is a form of Avoda Zara!]. You’re dancing at a Chasuna, and you are afraid to stretch out your hand inviting someone into the circle, since he may reject your offer and leave your hand hanging. You interpret this a Bizayon, but it isn’t. If you are working on the Midda of: ִה ְשׁ ַתּווּת Hish'tavus, meaning you don’t care (it is “equal” to you) if people love or hate you, then you will actually look for such opportunities!
It will turn you into steel, and you’ll learn to stop being sensitive. Chaim is speaking to three people, and you are one of them. He focuses on the other two, and he ignores you. People dislike being overlooked. But it you’re a Novardoker working on: ִה ְשׁ ַתּווּ ת Hish'tavus, you’ll love it. You get stronger if you report your “Prat” to your Rosh HaVaad. So-and-so is not as warm to you as he used to be, and for no reason, except that he isn’t so impressed with you like he used to be. This can hurt an ordinary person. But a Novardoker would “kvell” glow with Simcha. “I have one Friend in Shamayim, and I don’t need the whole world worshipping me!”
Learning Shaar Yichud HaMaaseh of Chovos Halvavos (the first few Perakim) helps Gevaldig. He tells you that all those people in your life should be in your eyes like trees and animals! So, what, if you looked awkward in the presence of so-and-so? He is merely grass or a cat! You keep saying: םיִלָבַה לֶבֶה דוֹבָכַּה Kavod is just fluffy air. [Mesilas Yesharim]. Or: םָלוֹעָה ןִמ םָדָאָה תֶא ןיִאיִצוֹמ דוֹבָכַּהְו הָוֲאַתַּהְו הָאְנִקַּה אבות ד כא A person’s desire for Kin'ah, Ta'ava, and Kavod take him out of the world and you feel great!
You disconnect from people, and you realize that there is only one: ןָמֲחַרָה בָא שֶׁפֶנ דיִדְי close Friend and loving Father in Shamayim. The people in your life are there for you to love, not to fear! The Chovos Halvavos says that not caring if people love you or hate you is Tachlis HaChamudos; i.e., the most desirable Midda in the universe. So it’s worth working on!
It will make life more bearable and Geshmak. It gives you health and true Bitachon when you trust only Hashem, and don’t rely on people and their approval. Don’t be afraid of Shtoltzy people with personalities, or wealth, or fame, or all kinds of (even) Ruchaniyus qualities! You’d be shocked if you knew how insecure they really are. Give them love and warmth and respect. They’ll appreciate it!
