Question: I feel that the frum world is just too noisy for me. In shul, I find the davening too loud. When I'm in the Bais Medrash, it’s too blaring for me to concentrate. Learning fills my head with so much “stuff” that I don’t have any room in there for just quieting down and trying to listen for any messages from my Neshama. Is there anything wrong with just going somewhere quiet, away from people, and just sitting quietly trying to focus on my inner voice?
Answer: To go to an out of town place and do for other Jews isn’t a bad idea. But you need to be cautious and make sure that you have a good environment. However, sometimes just working in your mind and trying to play down the stresses of living with a lot of people, and finding the “fun” in it, will help the problem go away.
Question: I have been suffering with overeating for years. I tried surgery, diets, nutritionists, counseling, ignoring, OA, medications, davening, learning Mussar, Chizuk, Shiurim… Some helped more than others, but it’s all temporary. For the past few weeks I have been eating so many cookies and cakes, that I gained weight and it is affecting my health. I have sleep apnea and many other health problems in my family because of obesity. I think it is a physical/emotional and spiritual problem combined, which is making it so complicated. I do better with my diet when I am completely off cakes, cookies… I can either do all or nothing. But I so badly want to have a little and to be able control myself; it’s so boring and depressing not to be able to have any chocolate… I am conflicted about what is the right thing to do. Should I get off my high sugar foods completely, and deal with the resulting emotions that come along with that [depression], or do I continue eating, and suffer the physical repercussions [gaining weight/health issues]. Or maybe I can find a balance in the middle?
Answer: There is something powerful that you have not yet tried; and that is Zikkui HaRabbim. When you go ahead and busy yourself with doing for others, you won’t have time to think about all the cookies and cake. And besides, it will help you emotionally too, when you are involved with doing for others.