On one occasion, one of Rav Yitzchok Scheiner’s relatives came to him for advice. Two different shadchanim had reached out to her parents, and both suggestions were from families who were interested in having her meet their sons.
One of the bachurim was a ‘‘regular’’ guy who happened to be tops in learning, well-rounded, and charismatic, with a great sense of humor. The other bachur was also outstanding in learning, but was a ‘‘mevakeish,’’ with outstanding middos, whose only interest in life was avodas Hashem.
When the relative came to the Rosh Yeshivah, she said, ‘‘When I think of Olam Hazeh, I’d like to go ahead with the first bachur. When I think of Olam Haba, I think I may be missing out, and perhaps I should go with the second bachur.’’
In his warm, patient manner, Rav Yitzchok responded: ‘‘You’re making a big mistake. You don’t get married for Olam Haba. You have to make sure that you’re going to have the best Olam Hazeh. Let’s say you marry the first bachur. He’s fun and he has a sense of humor. In the beginning, you will be sitting together having a good time and might be cracking jokes at other people’s expense.
‘‘But there’s a good chance that down the road, he may be cracking jokes at your expense. I know the second bachur very well. He may not be as entertaining or as much fun, but he will treat you like a queen. He will absolutely never hurt your feelings.
‘‘Whatever you cook and however you decorate your home, he will think it’s terrific. I think you will actually end up with a much better Olam Hazeh with the second bachur.’’ The relative took his advice, which she has gratefully passed it on to others.