SPREADING PEACE
Dovid HaMelech says in Tehillim, “Seek peace and pursue it.” Rebbi Shimon ben Elazar said: “If one sits in his place and remains at peace with everyone, he has not pursued peace. Rather he should go to great lengths to seek it, even at a distance.” (ויק"ר ט,ט, אדר"נ יב)
Chazal instruct us, “Be one of the students of Aharon HaKohen, loving peace and pursuing peace...”
Whenever Aharon heard of two friends who were quarreling, he would approach one of them and tell him, “My son! Do you know what your friend is doing? He is beating his chest in anguish and tearing out his hair and saying, ‘How can I look my friend in the face? I am so embarrassed to have sinned against him!” Hearing this, the listener would of course forgive his friend in his heart.
Aharon would then visit the other man and repeat the process. And when the two met, they would embrace and kiss each other.
So it was that when Aharon passed away, eighty thousand Aharons, born as a result of his peacemaking, took part in his funeral, and all of Bnei Yisroel mourned Aharon for thirty days. (אבות א,יב, אדר"נ יב, כלה רבתי פ"ג)
Reb Refoel of Bershad, a talmid of Reb Pinchas of Korets, often busied himself with restoring peace amongst friends and couples. One Tisha BeAv he headed out to a house where a number of people were quarreling.
“Why don’t you go after Tisha BeAv?” his talmidim asked.
Reb Refoel explained,“The Beis HaMikdosh was destroyed because of causeless hatred – so on a day like this, should we postpone an opportunity to restore peace?!” (סיפורי חסידים זוין מועדים ע' 458)
EXTENDING ONESELF
Chazal say that in order to bring peace between people who are quarreling, one must act humbly. (כלה רבתי פ"ג)
One Friday night, Rebbi Meir’s shiur for women ended far later than usual. When one of his listeners finally returned home, she found her husband so irritated that he would not let her in the door until she would go and spit in the speaker’s face!
What should she do? Her friends encouraged her to visit Rebbi Meir for advice and they accompanied her. As they approached his home, he sensed the dilemma with ruach hakodesh. Acting as if his eye was hurting, he greeted the women, “Can one of you please spit in my eye to heal it?” The woman grasped the opportunity and returned home happily.
After they left, his talmidim asked, “Rebbi! Isn’t this a disgrace to the Torah?”
Rebbi Meir replied, “My honor cannot be greater than the honor of HaShem, Who allowed His Name to be erased – in order to make peace between husband and wife.” (ירושלמי סוטה פ"א ה"ד)
In a letter to Reb Volf Greenglass, the Rebbe encourages him to engage those opposing chassidim by showing them friendship. Although both sides were surely to blame, nevertheless it is Anash who should take the first step towards befriending them. (לקט סיפורי התוועדויות ע' 616)
PEACE AT HOME
Chazal say that whoever instills peace in his own family is considered to have instilled peace amongst the entire Yiddishe nation, for every person has influence on his home. (אבות דר"נ פכ"ח)
Chazal say, “If the mizbeiach is to be treated with reverence for its peacemaking between the Yidden and HaShem, how much more certainly will an individual who brings peace between husband and wife, or between families or communities, be spared punishment and be granted long years!” (ספרא קדושים כ, תנחומא יתרו יז)
There once lived two people who every erev Shabbos were incited by Satan to quarrel. So what did Reb Meir do? Chazal relate that he visited their home three weeks in a row to make sure that all was peaceful. On the third Friday he heard Satan moan: “Oy, this Reb Meir has chased me out of this home!” (גיטין נב ע"א)
When the Alter Rebbe lived in the town of Mohilev, after discontinuing his planned voyage to Eretz Yisroel, he had to sacrifice time from his learning in order to bring peace to a struggling couple.
His chavrusa complained: “True, Chazal say that bringing peace between husband and wife is so great a mitzva that one is rewarded for it in This World and the Next – but don’t they conclude that the study of Torah is equal to all the great mitzvos that they list?”
In reply, the Alter Rebbe pointed out that in that list, the mishna places “bringing peace” next to “talmud Torah” – in order to teach us that each of those two mitzvos is equal to all the others. (שמועות וסיפורים ח"א ע' 124)
CONSIDER
Why is peace so different from other types of kindness that one should pursue it?
Why is it necessary to act humbly to bring about peace?
