How do we stand strong in our values without canceling those we disagree with?
Rav Lopiansky shared an extraordinary story quoted in the May 14, 2025, Mishpacha article titled “Where Peace and Truth Intersect” that he heard from Rav Aryeh Finkel zt”l. Rav Aryeh Finkel once related a personal story from his own family. His mother was the stepdaughter of Rav Yosef Chaim Sonnenfeld. She told him that the kana’im of Yerushalayim once came to Rav Sonnenfeld with a complaint:
“You’re sending mixed messages,” they said. “On one hand, you’ve called Rav Kook an apikorus, and on the other hand, you show him great honor and treat him with such dignity.”
Rav Sonnenfeld firmly responded, “Chas v’shalom that I would ever call Rav Kook an apikorus! What I said was that certain things he wrote are apikorsus, but he himself is the furthest thing from an apikorus.”
What he meant to say, obviously, was that he held Rav Avraham Yitzchak HaKohein Kook in great esteem but argued strongly against particular points that he made. That is how we arrive at peace — by respecting the person we are disagreeing with.
This powerful story and the nuanced perspective Rav Lopiansky presents feel especially relevant in our time.
As mekadshei Hashem, we are called to walk the fine line between truth and peace. This can be very difficult.
The challenges of our generation are real. The temptations are strong. But we cannot afford to fight darkness with bittul or a spirit of “cancel culture.” It weakens our ultimate mission.
The Tomer Devorah teaches that even when dealing with sinners, Hashem focuses on their good, and so should we. Seeing the positive in others is a Divine trait and one we are meant to emulate.
RABBI SHRAGA FREEDMAN
