A Burial Plot
An old Jewish woman, on her 80th birthday, decides to prepare her last will and testament. She goes to the rabbi to show it to him and to ask him for advice on a few points, chief amongst them is her request that she not be buried in a Jewish cemetery.
"But why Mrs. Epstein?" the rabbi asks. "You don't want to be buried with the rest of our people?"
"No," Mrs. Epstein said resolutely. "I want to be buried at Bloomingdales."
"Bloomingdales?!" the rabbi said in disbelief.
"Yes. Then I'll be sure that my daughters will visit me at least twice a week!".
The Heir Apparent
A pauper used to visit the famous Jewish philanthropist Baron Rothschild every month with his brother, and each would be given 50 pounds. The brother died and the following month the pauper came alone. Upon seeing him, Rothschild's secretary handed the man 50 pounds.
"Just a minute," protested the pauper. "I'm entitled to a hundred pounds."
"But your brother is dead," replied the secretary. "His handout was cancelled."
"What do you mean cancelled?" asked the pauper angrily. "Am I my brother's heir or is Rothschild?!".
The Good Old Dead Sea
An old Jewish grandfather was taking care of his two young grandchildren. One of the children asked him how old his grandfather and grandmother were. The grandfather looked at his grandson and sighed.
"We're so old that when we were your age, the Dead Sea was only sick.".
Happy Birthday Zadie Herman
At his 103rd birthday party, Zadie Herman Rosenbaum was asked by his great grandson Shmueli if he planned to be around for his 104th.
"I certainly do Shmueli," Zadie Herman replied. "As a matter of fact, statistics show that very few people die between the ages of 103 and 104."
