It states (Tehillim 89:16) תרועה יודעי העם אשרי. The Noam Megadim explains that the word תרועה comes from the word רעה, bad. The pasuk is saying, "Fortunate is the nation יודעי תרועה, who knows that even the bad is for their benefit." And therefore, they can be happy and praise Hashem for what appears to be bad, too, because they believe it is for their good. As the Mishnah (Brachos ch.9) states, הטובה על שמברך כשם הרעה על לברך אדם חייב, "One must praise Hashem for the bad just as he praises Hashem for the good."
The Rambam (Pirush HaMishnayos, Brachos ch.9) writes, "When bad things happen to you, be happy and accept it with a good heart. Don't be angry and upset. Say the brachah האמת דיין with happiness, just as you would say the brachah והמטיב הטוב [with happiness, when good things happen to you]. The wise understand the logic of this concept."
The Rambam (which we will quote shortly) explains that sometimes we think something is very good, and afterwards, we discover how much bad came from it. And vice versa, there are times when bad things occur, and later, we find out how good it was for us. Therefore, there is no reason to be extra happy when good things occur and there is no reason to be super upset when bad things occur, r'l. When things happen, we don't yet know what will come from it. All we can do is to trust in Hashem that He is leading us in the best way, and to praise Him for every situation.
We quote the Rambam: "Even if the Torah wouldn’t obligate us to thank Hashem for the bad, the wise understand to do so on their own. This is because many things appear good initially but are very bad in the end. The wise don't feel startled and lost when confronted with hardships because one doesn't know what will come from them. You also shouldn't be overly happy when something good happens because you don't know if this good will be forever."
The following stories remind us not to get upset when something doesn’t work out because only good can come from it. I heard the following story from the baal hamaaseh, Reb Shlomo Pinchas Shwimmer shlita of Monroe, N.Y.
One evening, Reb Shlomo Pinchas saw a sixteen-year-old bachur wandering the streets. It was obvious that he had lost his way. "Tzaddik, how can I help you?" Reb Shlomo Pinchas asked.
The bachur replied, "I live in Monsey and learn in yeshiva there. During the summer, my yeshiva goes to a camp at 441 Schunnemunk Rd, Monroe. I just returned from Monsey, where I went to see a doctor because I was experiencing pain in my arm. The doctor found nothing, so I took a taxi back to camp. The driver couldn’t find 441 Schunnemunk Rd, so he dropped me off on the corner of Schunnemunk Rd. and Bardichov St. I don't know where to go from here."
Reb Shlomo Pinchas said, "Come in, I'll drive you there." Reb Shlomo Pinchas entered the address in his GPS, but it didn’t show up. After some investigation, he realized that Schunnemunk Rd. is a very long street, and the address the bachur was looking for was far down the street, over in Highland Mills. (That is why he didn't find it on the GPS. They searched in Monroe, but this address was in another town.) But Schunnemunk isn't easy to follow, and they couldn't find #441.
The bachur said, "Every morning, we use the mikvah on Koritz St. Please take me there because from there I know a shortcut to the camp."
When they arrived at Koritz St., the bachur showed Reb Shlomo Pinchas where to drive, and soon they arrived at the camp. Reb Shlomo Pinchas was never in this area before. He was impressed by the camp's old but large building with a beautiful lake in the background.
The next day, the bachurim went boating on the lake. One of the boats flipped over, and four bachurim fell into the water. Three swam to shore, but one bachur couldn't return. By the time friends pulled him to shore, he had lost consciousness. Hatzalah of Monroe received the call for help, and they immediately dispatched emergency personnel to go to 441 Schunnemunk Rd. The Hatzalah volunteers couldn’t figure out how to get to the camp, but Reb Shlomo Pinchas (a Hatzalah member!) was able to direct them. They saved the bachur just in time.
It was the bachur Reb Shlomo Pinchas had helped the previous day. His arm hurt, so he didn't have the strength to swim ashore. Had Hatzalah arrived a minute later, there would be no one to save. The following Shabbos, the bachur benched הגומל in public, thanking Hashem for the miracle.
This story teaches that even when something seems bad, it is really for the good. The taxi driver dropped the bachur off at the wrong place, and the bachur was lost. But this problem saved his life the very next day. There are many similar stories, and they occur to every person. Sometimes, something seems terrible, and a lot of good comes from it.
A chasunah was scheduled in Bnei Brak, but the musicians didn't show up! The musicians lived in Yerushalayim, and on the night of this chasunah, many hafganos, demonstrations, were going on in Yerushalayim. The roads were blocked, and they couldn't reach the chasunah.
The chasunah hall in Bnei Brak was connected, wall to wall, with another hall. The baalei simchah celebrating in the other hall kindly connected the cables, so the music playing at their chasunah could be heard at the chasunah where the musicians didn't show up.
At the hall with the live music, the band was playing the renowned song תוסיף מלך ימי על ימים, customarily played when the rosh yeshiva dances with the chasan. At that time, a great-uncle danced with the chasan in the other hall. He thought this song was being played in his honor and was very pleased. He had prepared a five-hundred-shekel check for the chasan. (That was the amount he gave at the chasunos of all his relatives.) But due to the honor he received, he ripped up that check and wrote another one for fifty thousand shekel. It became apparent that the "problem" proved to be a “solution.”
Here is another story: Someone with a large family worked as a bus driver. He didn't like his job, and the wages were meager, but it put food on the table to feed his family. One day, he was involved in an accident, and his license was revoked. He lost his source of income. How would he support his family? He always enjoyed art but never had the time or courage to devote himself to it. Now, he had a lot of extra time and a dire need to earn parnassah, so he picked up a paintbrush and began painting.
Each of his paintings sold for $5,000. He was successful beyond expectation. Now, he works in art, a job he enjoys, and earns far more money than before. He discovered that what he thought was bad for him was a blessing in disguise; losing his bus driver’s license was the best thing to happen to him.
The Steipler Gaon zt'l advised yungerleit going through difficult times to study sefer Mishpat Tzedek, so they would know that Hashem's ways are just and that we should accept every situation with love. The Beis Yisrael zt'l also loved this sefer and held it in high regard.
Mishpat Tzedek
(Avos 5) writes, "We are mistaken when we think that what we are going through is bad. This that you think is bad will become the root of all the good that will follow. About this, it states (Tehillim 118:21) לישועה לי ותהי עניתני כי אודך, 'I praise You because You afflicted me, and the affliction became my salvation.' And it states (Shoftim 10:15), והטוב עשה בעיניך, 'Do what's good in Your eyes.' Because a person thinks he knows what is good for him, and he davens for those matters, but it is possible that it isn't really good for him. Therefore, we pray, 'Ribono Shel Olam, do what You know is best.'" Our vision is limited; only Hashem knows what's best for us, and we pray to Hashem that He give us what He knows we need.
It states (Tehillim 42:9), לקל תפילה עמי שירה ובלילה חיי. The Malbim explains, "ובלילה, also at night [which represents] before [Hashem's kindness comes to me]... even then עמי שירה, I sang to Hashem for His kindness, לקל תפילה חיי, and I prayed for Hashem's kindness... because I knew that despite all the hardships, Hashem's kindness will arrive after the tzaros."
Eizor Eliyahu (from Reb Eliyahu Lerman zt'l, a student of the Kotzker zt'l) writes, "Hashem only bestows good and kindness on Bnei Yisrael. However, before the good comes, sometimes hardship and troubles must precede it, for this is Hashem's way so that the good that will come after it will be in the best manner. When one doesn't understand this, he thinks that Hashem, chas v'shalom, is doing bad to him, but it isn't so.
He writes that this is alluded to in the Haftarah of Shabbos Chazon (Yeshayah 1:2-3) אבוס וחמור קונהו שור ידע בי פשעו והם ורוממתי גדלתי בנים התבונן לא עמי ידע לא ישראל בעליו, "Children I have raised and exalted, but they have rebelled against Me. An ox knows his owner, and a donkey his master's trough, but Yisrael doesn’t know, My people don't comprehend." What don't the Jewish people know, and how did they rebel against Hashem? He explains that they don't know that everything is for the good. They think that Hashem wants to do bad to them. They don't realize that this is a preparation for much more and much better that will be coming.
It states in this week's parashah (1:27) ותרגנו באהליכם ותאמרו בשנאת 'ה אותנו הוציאנו מארץ מצרים לתת אותנו ביד האמרי להשמידנו, "You spoke lashon hara in your tents and said that Hashem hates you and therefore He took you out of Mitzrayim to give you over to the hands of the Emorites..."
Bnei Yisroel cried and panicked, but there was nothing to fear. Hashem fought the wars for them, and they inherited the Holy Land, Eretz Yisrael.
The Gemara (Taanis 29) states, "That night was Tisha b'Av. Hakadosh Baruch Hu said, בכיתם בכיה של חנם ואני קובע לכם בכיה לדורות, 'You cried for no reason; I will give you a reason to cry for all generations."
The Yidden in the desert cried and were afraid to enter Eretz Yisrael, but there was nothing to fear. Because they cried for no reason, we cry in every generation. Their crying for no reason resulted in the churban, and now we have a reason to cry. As we are discussing, many times, people cry for no reason. They think life isn't good, are upset with their lot, and don't believe everything is for their best. They should remember what crying for no reason caused and train themselves to believe that even what appears terrible at first, is for our good.
As well, the Yesurim of the Churban were for our Benefit. The Chasam Sofer zy'a (Drashos, 7 Av, p.326) writes, "If I weren't afraid, I would say Tisha b'Av is a happy day because we survived... [As Chazal say, 'Hashem poured His anger out on wood and stone so we could survive']. We should be praising Hashem on Tisha b'Av [for this salvation]. This is the reason Tisha b'Av is called mo'ed (a holiday). The crying and the mourning are for the new tragedies that happen every year. Because of our many sins, the curses and the tzaros become worse each day..."
The brother of the Maharal (Reb Chaim zt'l, Igros HaTiyul) notes that throughout Eichah, the name אלקים, the name of harsh judgment, isn't used. Instead, the name ה"הוי, the name of compassion, is written. This teaches us that even the churban was an act of Hashem's mercy to save the Jewish nation.
When the Jewish nation believed the report of the meraglim and were afraid to go to Eretz Yisrael, they said (1:27) בשנאת 'ה אותנו הוציאנו ממצרים, "Hashem took us out of Mitzrayim because He hates us." The Midrash (Bamidbar Rabba 16:2) writes that this claim had consequences. Since they said that Hashem hates them (Yirmiyahu 12:8) שנאתיה כן על, therefore, Hashem hated them, r'l.
The Sfas Emes explains, "Hashem was acting solely for our benefit, but since they said Hashem hates them, this caused Hashem to hate them."
We learn from this: (a) everything Hashem does is for our benefit. (b) It is a grave aveirah to suspect that Hashem hates us and is acting against our best interests. (c) If we say Hashem hates us, this can cause it to happen, chalilah.
Hashem loves us and seeks our good. We must believe that, and then we will see how everything is for our good.
