Lashon Hara Dilemma
THE DILEMMA
Gitty’s parents are in town, and she wants to treat them to a meal at a good restaurant. Knowing that my husband and I recently ate at HaSeudah, a new Israeli-style restaurant in town, she asked me if I would recommend it. We thought the food was great, and the waiter was very friendly, but the service was too slow. Can I tell Gitty that the food was good but that the service was poor? Esti
THE HALACHA
When someone asks our opinion on a product or service they’re considering, it’s a to’eles to give advice; this saves the person from wasting money on something that will be disappointing or of inferior quality. However, we have to choose our words carefully because the fourth condition of to’eles is that we must say only what we know and not more. We are not allowed to exaggerate even slightly. The only problem at HaSeudah was that the service was slow. If Esti only says that “the service was poor,” she creates a far worse—and unjustified—impression of the place. Perhaps Gitty is willing to wait longer for freshly prepared food and a friendly atmosphere. By exaggerating, Esti causes an unfair loss to HaSeudah. Furthermore, even if Esti gives an accurate report, Gitty is not allowed to believe the report as true.
