Not Everyone Can Cry:
The following was related in a shmuess by Rav Shimshon Pinkus zt”l (Golus V’Nechama, page 243):
It is related that Napolean, the Emperor of France, was once walking on the outskirts of Paris, when he heard the sounds of crying coming from one house. When he asked about this, he was told that Jews lived in that house and they were mourning the destruction of a house that had burned down 2,000 years ago. Napolean was amazed and said, “I am certain that a nation that cries for this house so many years later will live to see its rebuilding!”
When we go to a simcha and see the people dancing, it is difficult to figure out who everyone is. Since even unrelated people who barely know the couple dance with joy, we can’t tell who is the father of the bride and groom, who is the brother, etc. But if we go to a funeral and see someone crying, it is obvious that he or she is a close relative because a stranger wouldn’t cry.
So too, everyone is happy on yomim tovim, even if they aren’t so close to Hashem. This joy does not prove that one is closely connected to Him. But if someone cries during a time of mourning, it is a sign that he feels Hashem’s pain. Only someone truly close to Him would mourn the Churban with Him. When we come to shul on Tisha B’Av and see people crying, we know that they are genuinely connected to Hashem.
