Reb Yosef Shimon Unger* dedicated his life to helping struggling teenagers reconnect with their roots. Day after day, he invested endless energy, patience, and love into guiding others. Yet, despite all the lives he touched, one personal concern weighed heavily on his heart.
His daughter had reached shidduch age, and as the years passed, finding her bashert seemed increasingly difficult. Suggestions came and went, but nothing materialized. The uncertainty and waiting were painful for the entire family.
As Yom Kippur approached, his daughter approached him with a heartfelt request.
“Tatty, one of the well-known segulos for finding a shidduch is receiving pesichah during Neilah. Over the past few weeks, I’ve been setting aside money so that you can purchase it on my behalf. Hopefully it will serve as a zechus for me to find my bashert.”
She handed him the money she had carefully saved. Reb Yosef Shimon was deeply moved by her sincerity and determination.
Living in a quiet suburb in the south of Eretz Yisrael, he assumed that her 2,000 shekels would be more than enough to secure the coveted honor. Confidently, he arrived at shul prepared to bid. But as the auction progressed, the bids climbed higher and higher.
Finally, Yosef Shimon called out, “2,000 shekels!” Almost immediately, a voice from the back of the shul responded, “3,000.”
His heart sank. He had only the money his daughter had entrusted to him. How could he justify bidding beyond that amount? And how would he explain to her that he had been unable to obtain the zechus she so desperately wanted?
As he sat there contemplating what to do, he recalled a story he had once heard from Rav Yaakov Hillel, shlita. Reb Yaakov related that in one shul, during the bidding for pesichah at Neilah, four wealthy philanthropists simultaneously called out the same bid of $10,000. The Rebbe immediately recognized the potential for hurt feelings and conflict. Rather than allowing the competition to continue, he suggested that all four men join together in the mitzvah and share the honor. When the time came, they would open the Aron Kodesh together.
Remembering that story, Reb Yosef Shimon decided to try the same approach. He walked over to the man who had bid 3,000 shekels and shared with him the story he had heard from Rav Hillel. He then explained his own situation and told him about his daughter’s heartfelt request to purchase the pesichah as a zechus for finding her bashert.
“Perhaps,” he suggested, “we can follow the example from that story and share the honor together.” The man smiled warmly and agreed without hesitation.
Together, they contributed half the amount and purchased the pesichah jointly. When Neilah arrived, the two men stood side by side and opened the Aron Kodesh together.
Months later, on the Sunday of Parshas Bamidbar, 5786, a week before Shavuos, Reb Yosef Shimon called that same friend. “Please come to my house tonight,” he said excitedly. “We’re making a l’chaim. Baruch Hashem, my daughter has become engaged.”
That evening, friends and family gathered to celebrate the long-awaited news. Amid the joy and excitement, Reb Yosef Shimon’s friend turned to him and said: “Tomorrow night, I’m expecting you at my simchah as well. My son is becoming engaged, be’ezras Hashem.”
Both families, who had shared a single mitzvah months earlier, were now celebrating together.
Sometimes a person clings tightly to something because it means so much to him. Yet it is precisely when he chooses to yield, to share, and to forgo his exclusive claim for the sake of peace and goodwill that Heaven responds in kind.
The power of vitur can open doors that no amount of striving can unlock.
