The Gates of Kedushah
The nature of a person who strives to serve Hashem is to want to be consistent and organized in a regular way. He yearns to enter some area of kedushah in a manner that it becomes a well-trodden path for him, each person according to his level. Some people merit overcoming a certain desire, and it becomes easy for them. Others get accustomed to learning Torah with consistency, doing hisbodedus every day, making a set time and place for davening, and so on. There are those who even attain a certain feeling and attachment to kedushah.
However, there are neshamos that don’t succeed in establishing a routine and order, and they are unable to make a familiar path in a certain avodah. Because of this, they fall from serving Hashem and abandon even what they can still do.
Not to Fall Further
This is why Rebbe Nachman warns us in this lesson that sometimes a person stands very close to the entrance of the gate he wishes to enter, but then he falls and leaves everything. It is important to know that this is a serious mistake, because certainly, at all times, it is possible for a person to enter some area of kedushah – to be organized in some avodah in a way that it becomes a consistent path for him. The main thing is to understand that we must strengthen ourselves greatly and not get discouraged when we stumble, because the nature of the yetzer hara is to intensify just before we succeed in overcoming him.
Therefore, even if a person sees that he’s fallen into the yetzer hara’s trap, he shouldn’t give up on fighting, since in fact, he might be very close to winning. And if he strengthens himself a bit more from now on and makes a new start, he will immediately enter the gates of that area of kedushah.
Every Small Act Helps Pave the Way
In addition, even if a person has not yet succeeded in breaking through, he should remember that Hashem watches over him, and every movement, even every ratzon and yearning in his heart, is engraved Above for all eternity. In the end, all his good desires and actions will gather together to open the path to a consistent practice of kedushah. Therefore, when he has the opportunity to do some small action in the area that he wishes to overcome, he shouldn’t hold himself back just because he sees that he has already fallen, since that small action will certainly be of great benefit to help him enter that area of avodas Hashem.
In short, we must understand the necessity of strengthening ourselves to stand firm, to persist in what we can still do, and to increase our yearning until we merit to become consistent in a certain aspect of kedushah, and then another aspect, and so on.
L’Ma’aseh—Practically Speaking
A person must be very stubborn in his avodah and not let himself fall, since it is possible he is already very close to the entrance of the gate of kedushah, but before breaking through the gate, he is faced with a difficult test.
