דרך התשובה הראויה
Then you spoke up and said to me, “We have sinned to Hashem! We shall go up and do battle according to everything that Hashem, our G-d, has commanded us!” You girded, each man, his weapons of war, and you readied yourselves to ascend the mountain. Hashem said to me, “Tell them, ‘Do not ascend and do not do battle, for I am not among you, then you will not be struck down before your enemies. (1:41-42)
In order to understand the message hidden in these posukim we need to know two principles in the matter of Teshuva. 1. Even after we have stumbled with a severe sin, we can immediately correct it with Teshuva. The power of Teshuva is so strong that it helps to even nullify the oath of HaKadosh Baruch Hu, for the agency of Teshuva changes the nature of the person and makes him into another person, and the decree was not issued against this new person. 2. On the other hand, it is incumbent on the person to know that it is not easy to earn Teshuva, for Teshuva does not help unless it comes from the depth of the heart, and it is not that easy to come to this deep level of regret. Therefore, from the outset, the person should be very careful regarding sin, perhaps he will not merit true Teshuva.
These two points shed light on the understanding of the matter, for Klal Yisrael had just stumbled over a very grave sin, to the extent that they complained against Hashem and reproached Him by saying (1:27) 'בשנאת ה' אותנו' – ‘Because Hashem hates us’ Rachmana litzlan. Even the severe punishment that was meted out to them shows how great their sin was. Still, when they woke up and heard what their Creator decreed on them by oath, they asked to erase their sin and the decree to be broken by saying two words, 'חטאנו לה'' – ‘We have sinned to Hashem!’ After they said these two words, they understood that the situation had returned as it was previously, and now they could prepare for battle, be victorious, and enter the Land, and the decree of 'במדבר הזה יפלו פגריכם' – ‘In this wilderness will your carcasses drop’ (Bamidbar 14:29) will no longer apply. The mind cannot comprehend this matter, to be so deep in sin, and with a simple statement they would again be righteous?!
The answer to this is: Yes! There is a reality that when they say, “I have sinned” everything is sweetened! This is when this word (חטאתי) emerges from the throat of the person as a result of regret for the past. Then, this word indicates the mitzvah of Teshuva, and the power of Teshuva changes the person into someone else and he is allowed to sweeten even the harshest judgments! Even an oath sworn by HaKadosh Baruch Hu can be nullified with the power of Teshuva as mentioned.
I know that you still do not see in my words any answer to your wonder, since I did not reveal to you that is reality, and this reality is called ‘Teshuva’, and you are still puzzled as to how Teshuva helps?
This wonder is not in effect once you also understand the second principle mentioned, that by saying ‘I have sinned’ helps change the nature of the person must come from the depth of the heart. When a person earns this, he becomes a new creation for the main being of a person is his ‘intellect’, and when the intellect changes, the essence of the person changes.
Now you can also understand that in general, that a person does not quickly change his intellect until Teshuva comes from the depth of the heart, and mainly with sins that are done intentionally, Rachmana litzlan. For if the day before yesterday the person did not fall into sin, it is assumed that he will not change his mind from one end to the other today, and generally, we would need a major purification to change one’s mind back to good, and then the confession will not be dependent on lip service, so his statement makes an impression.
This is the reason that in fact Israel’s Teshuva was not accepted, for even though they did Teshuva and regretted the past, they still had not come to a firm decision that they had not acted properly. Not that chalilah their Teshuva was not from the depth of their heart, for if this were so, they would have feared for their lives and they would not have been brazen enough to go out to battle. However, according to their high level and the greatness of the sin, they required a much deeper regret, and they still did not reach this level of examination as required.
This is what Moshe was hinting at when he said (1:41), 'ותענו ותאמרו אלי חטאנו לה'' – ‘Then you spoke up and said to me, “We have sinned to Hashem!”’ It does not say ‘Then you spoke up and confessed’, rather, ‘Then you spoke up and said’, the confession was only ‘speech’ and did not yet come from the depth of the heart as required, and they could still not classify it at ‘confession’, therefore, their Teshuva was not accepted and it did not work out well for them in battle with the Canaanites.
Another hint that their Teshuva was not as it should be, we find in the parsha of the spies where the Torah describes the Teshuva (Bamidbar 14:40), 'וישכימו בבוקר ויעלו אל ראש ההר לאמר הננו ועלינו אל המקום אשר אמר ה' כי חטאנו' – ‘They awoke early in the morning and went up to the mountaintop saying, “We are ready, and we shall go up to the place of which Hashem has spoken, for we have sinned’, the Torah precedes their action to the Teshuva, though in fact they did Teshuva first, their Teshuva was not as it should be. Their main intent with their Teshuva was to save loss of life and land harmed by their sin. Even the very Teshuva that is subsequently described, the Torah hints that it was not with complete regret, for the words ‘of which Hashem has spoken’ in the beginning of the posuk could also apply to the end of the posuk, and then it would read ‘of which Hashem Has spoken for we have sinned’. That is, only HaKadosh Baruch Hu explains our action as a sin, but we have not yet come to understand that we have not conducted ourselves properly...
Based on what we have said, we can say that the continuing posukim (1:45, 46, 2:1) Moshe hints to the avodah of Teshuva that was imposed on Israel for this sin, for as we have said, in order for the person to earn true Teshuva, it is incumbent on him to purify himself over many days. Therefore, the victory of the Canaanites, Israel understood that they had not yet earned Teshuva as required. Therefore, 'ותשבו ותבכו לפני ה'' – ‘Then you wept again before Hashem’ (1:45), and still, because of the severity of the sin this Teshuva was not fit to be called ‘Teshuva’.
And so, 'ולא שמע ה' בקולכם ולא האזין אליכם' – ‘but Hashem did not listen to your voice and He did not give ear to you’ since this was still only ‘voice’ and ‘speech’. Since this was so, 'ותשבו בקדש' – ‘you stayed in Kadesh’ – you remained to serve Hashem Yisbarach to add purification and sanctity [kedusha] 'ימים רבים' – ‘many days’, and only after remaining 'כימים אשר ישבתם' – ‘as the days that you dwelt’ you merited to be uplifted and recognize the severity of their actions, then you will merit 'ונפן' – ‘we turned’ – you merited to return to your Creator.
Nevertheless, we see from here that a person does not easily earn Teshuva, only through regret from the depth of the heart. We also learn this in the Rambam (Hilchos Teshuva 2:2) that only Teshuva like this is willingly accepted. The Rambam says, ‘What is Teshuva? It is when the sinner leaves the sin and removes it from his thoughts and determine in his heart that he will not do it again, as it says (Yeshaya 55:7), 'עזוב רשע דרכו ואיש און מחשבותיו' – ‘Let the wicked one forsake his way and the iniquitous man his thoughts. In this way he will be consoled for the past, as it says (Yirmiyahu 31:18) 'כי אחרי שובי נחמתי ואחרי הודעי ספקתי על ירך' – ‘For after my returning, I regretted, and after my being aware of my sin, I slapped my thigh in anguish’. I testify about him to the One Who knows all mysteries, that he will never return to this sin.’
In light of all that was said, it is incumbent on the person to ask for mercy that he does not sin, and after he has already sinned, he should ask for mercy that he earn true Teshuva that is willingly accepted before the Master of all.
