Sefer Devarim begins with Moshe Rabbeinu’s rebuke of the Jewish People shortly before his death, during which he recounted various incidents that had occurred since they left Mitzrayim. One key event was the decision to send the twelve spies to tour Eretz Yisrael and report back on their findings. Moshe noted that it was the idea of the people, and that “the matter was pleasing in my eyes.”
Rashi comments, “If it pleased Moshe, why did he include it in his rebuke?” He answers by comparing the decision to send the spies to a person selling his donkey. The potential buyer wants to ride it to see if it’s healthy and fit; the seller agrees. Will the seller allow him to test it even over hilly and rough terrain? Yes, he will. When the man realizes that the seller has nothing to hide, he doesn’t even bother to test-ride the donkey; clearly this is someone he can trust, so he concludes the purchase.
Similarly, Moshe Rabbeinu assumed that when the Yidden saw he was entirely comfortable with the idea of sending out spies, showing that he had nothing to hide, they would change their minds about sending them, no longer seeing a need.
The Sfas Emes takes a different approach in explaining the passuk. He suggests, based on a Midrash, that perhaps Moshe Rabbeinu was including himself in the rebuke for the decision to send out the spies, thereby also making it easier for Bnei Yisrael to accept the rebuke. The Sfas Emes adds that when it is clear and obvious that the person giving rebuke genuinely loves and cares about the person on the receiving end, it is far easier for that person to accept the words and act on them.
All too often, we forget these key concepts when trying to get the people in our lives to “improve” or “fix” what we see as so important. Can that be part of the reason why our efforts so often fail? Maybe, by including ourselves in the message, and making sure our love and concern comes across clearly, our messages will be more readily accepted.
