By R’ Yoni Schwartz
I will share a personal story. In my late teens, something strange began happening to my body. My knees were burning, my lower back was inflamed, and each joint in my body felt hotter than a car dashboard on a summer day. The joint pain progressed to the point where I couldn’t walk, lie down or sit in chairs without pain.
I tried therapy but my body was strangely unresponsive. I visited some of the best doctors in the New York area and when asked why this is happening, to no success. As somebody who loves exercising and sports, not being able to walk - let alone run - took a major toll on my mental health.
Mad at G-d
Have you ever felt so mad that you felt like punching a hole through the wall? For a while, that’s how I felt towards Hashem. What bothered me wasn’t the physical pain but the question, “Why is G-d doing this to me?”
When I met Rabbi Yitzchok Breitowitz in Yerushalyim, my perspective began to change. Rabbi Breitowitz is an internationally sought halachic authority with hundreds of thousands of listeners on his famous Q & A’s shiurim. I have heard all of Judaism’s textbook answers on why people experience hardships. While they are easy for us to tell others, it’s much harder to accept when we’re the ones in pain.
Years of Frustration and Anger Flowed Through My Tears
I walked through the old wooden door of his blandly colored office and poured my heart out. Years of frustration and anger flowed through my tears as they dripped down my red cheeks. He did something almost unheard of today: actually listen. His eyes gently contacted mine, his eyebrows scrunched up in empathy and his ears honed in on my words.
Rabbi Yitzchok Breitowitz
For the first time I felt somebody understood my plight. Others I have spoken with were eager to state the textbook answers of why people suffer, so quick to show that they barely listened. Some even interrupted, but not Rabbi Breitowitz. As he listened, I felt some of the weight get lifted from my chest as he bore my burden with me.
When he spoke, the first thing he did was express empathy, and respond to my emotions, not my rational mind. He did not jump to find logical reasons for the occurrences, nor did he try to problem- solve or rationalize the situation right off the bat. Instead, he sat there, felt my pain with me, gave me courage and hope. That was the most comforting response I had ever received. Thankfully, since then my situation has greatly improved!
Reprinted from the Parshas Pinchas 5784 email of Torah Sweets.
