I want to offer a challenge to you.
Imagine you find yourself amidst a significant challenge in your life. Or, in reality, you might be going through one right now. Now, picture yourself sitting back in your chair or actually do so. Feel for a moment relaxed, at ease, in peace. Now here’s the last part:
You’re breathing deeply, and you are waiting for clarity, for perspective to somehow arrive on its own.
But what if it doesn’t?
Too often, we wait for perspective to find us. We sit passively in the middle of a disagreement, a moment of tension, a crisis of faith, a conflict with someone we love, and we wait for the shift to happen naturally. But that’s not how growth works. That’s not how relationships heal.
Perspective doesn’t just land in your lap. It has to be sought out.
Let’s say you’re in the middle of an argument. Your spouse shows up late and you had agreed on a time. You’re upset, disappointed, maybe even hurt. The instinct is to react: “Why were you late?” Your tone is sharp and your mind is closed. You’re locked in your narrative. But what if instead, you chose to seek out a new lens?
What if you said, “I was a little nervous... everything okay?” And then you find out: the toilet overflowed, the kids missed the bus, and the morning unraveled before it even started. Suddenly, being ten minutes late becomes a triumph, not a failure. You realize that if that had been your morning, you might have canceled the entire day. My daughter once had a pillow that said, “Today has been canceled.” And sometimes... that’s exactly how life feels.
Or take a parent who’s been frustrated with their child. They are disappointed in their school performance, their behavior, their attitude. It’s easy to label a child: lazy, unfocused, stubborn. But then, after years of confusion and frustration, they discover their child has dyslexia or ADHD or a processing delay. And in one moment, everything changes.
The child wasn’t lazy. They were battling a hidden struggle without the tools to explain it. And the parent? They weren’t cruel; they just didn’t know.
But they could have known. And that’s the point.
It is on each of us—parent, spouse, friend, teacher—to seek out the perspective that can change everything. To ask the second question, consider the unseen, and to look again, not for proof that we’re right, but for understanding we don’t yet have.
Because perspective is everything.
If you can do that in a fight... If you can do that when you’re frustrated, confused, or overwhelmed... If you can do that when life doesn’t make sense... Then you’re not just reacting; you’re raising yourself up and all those around you.
And sometimes, with that effort, the entire game changes.
