It is a great mitzvah to gladden the hearts of a chosson and kallah.
R' Yehuda Bar Ilai would interrupt his learning to gladden a kallah by dancing before her with a myrtle branch.
In a similar vein, R' Shmuel Bar Rav Yitzchak would dance at a wedding while juggling three myrtle branches.5 When he passed away a pillar of fire in the shape of a myrtle branch separated him from everyone else, according him great honor. This was a heavenly affirmation of the great mitzvah he performed.
R' Pam once approached the music band at a wedding and told them to have the intent that they are making the chosson and kallah happy (simchas chosson v’kallah) so that this way they will get a mitzvah.
The custom of the Tolner Rebbe, R' Yochanan Twersky (1906–1998), was to do cartwheels/flips at different times. One of these times was at a wedding to gladden the chosson and kallah.
R' Naftali Amsterdam and his second wife were both in their 70s when they got married. At their wedding, R' Itzele Peteberger (1837–1907) danced on a tabletop and sang songs and rhymes all in fulfillment of the mitzvah of gladdening a chosson and kallah. When questioned as to whether so much rejoicing was necessary, he retorted, “In the halacha which states that one should rejoice with a chosson and kallah, no mention is made of the age of the couple.”
Additional Insights and Anecdotes
Rabbi Alt merited to learn under the tutelage of R’ Mordechai Friedlander ztz”l for close to five years and received semichah from R’ Zalman Nechemia Goldberg ztz”l. Rabbi Alt has written on numerous topics for various websites and publications and is the author of eight books including the recently released “Unbelievable Insights about Moshiach and the Final Redemption.” His writings, many of which have been translated into Yiddish, Hebrew, German and French, inspire people across the spectrum of Jewish observance to live with the vibrancy and beauty of Torah. His shiurim can be found on various websites including Kol Halashon’s. Rabbi Alt lives with his wife and family in Kiryat Yearim (where the Aron was for 20 years [Shmuel 1, 7:1,2]) where he studies, lectures, writes and teaches. The author is passionate about teaching Jews of all levels of observance.
- Vayikra 25:4. See the Menoras Hamaor, Ha’neir Hashlishi, Klal 3, Volume 1, Chapter 3.
- Siddur Yaavetz, Seuda Rishona, s.v. kol. See Shir Hashirim Rabba 8.
- Rambam, Hilchos Avel 14:1 and Tur, Even Haezer 65. When saying the zimun, before the Sheva Brachos, the words she’ha’simcha bimono, in whose abode there is joy, is added to the introductory phrase (Rambam, Hilchos Brachos 5:4. Shulchan Aruch, Even Ha’ezer, 62:13). The Radvaz explains that every wedding that takes place here on earth arouses great joy in heaven. Consequently, the rejoicing in this terrestrial world at a wedding is an echo of the joy in the celestial world.
- Around 100 years ago, a Sefardi girl from the country of Libya named Simcha married a man whose last name was Rabba. As a result, her name after marriage was Simcha Rabba!
- The Midrash tells us that even the wicked Queen Izevel would dance, clap her hands and wave her head before a chosson and kallah. Even though she was killed and dogs devoured her body, as a punishment for her crimes, nevertheless, when her remains were collected for burial, her skull, feet and palms of her hands were spared (See Melachim 2, 9:35-36). They were found intact as a reward for having rejoiced before a chosson and kallah (See Redak and Rashi to Melachim 2, 9:35 and Tur, Even Ha’ezer 65, Pirkei D’Rebbe Eliezer, chapter 17).
- Kesubos 17a. We are accustomed that the chosson and kallah separate seven days before their wedding. This is just as a Kohen Gadol was separated seven days before Yom Kippur (Yoma 2a). The eighth day is when the Kohen Gadol entered the Kodesh Hakadashim. Similarly, in a figurative way, the chosson and kallah enter the Kodesh Hakadashim on their eighth day (on their wedding day).
- A father would tell his sons before their weddings to make sure that at their wedding they dance with those that no one else usually dances with (not the great learners, the popular boys and the like), the boys who feel sad that they are not part of any simcha. He told his sons that then you are a Baal Simcha meaning the manager and distributor of simcha.
- Rashi teaches that eis rekod, a time to dance, (Koheles 3:4) refers to the dancing in the presence of a chosson and kallah.
- R’ Yitzchok Blazer also known as R’ Itzele Peterburger was a student of R’ Yisrael Salanter and his successor as the head of the Mussar movement. He became the Chief Rabbi of St. Petersberg when he was just 25 years old. From 1880 until approximately 1891, he served as the head of the Kovno Kollel, which was founded by R’ Salanter. In 1904 he moved to Yerushalayim where his home became a central meeting place for the Gedolei Yerushalayim. Poor health forced him to move to Yaffo, but when he saw his end was near he returned to Yerushalayim. He passed away on the 11th of Av in 1907.
- See Tenuas Hamussar, p. 229.
