From the passuk in this week’s parshah it appears that yiras Shamayim is a simple thing to attain, as it says: “And now, Yisrael, what does Hashem your G-d ask of you? Only to fear Hashem...”
The holy Baal Shem Tov explains this as follows. There are two types of yiras Hashem — yiras Hashem motivated by fear of punishment, and yiras Hashem motivated by fear of being distanced from Hashem. Consider the mashal of a father and his young son. The father sees that the boy is about to go outside to play, and he warns him to put on his shoes first, as otherwise, he could be injured. The boy complies, but not because of his own fear of injury. He’s just a child, and doesn’t fully grasp why he has to put his shoes on, but he does know that if he doesn’t obey his father, he will be punished.
Whose fear is more intense? Clearly the father is more concerned about his son’s welfare than his son is worried about being punished. So too, Hashem, who gave us 613 mitzvos in order to “bring us merit” as Pirkei Avos tells us, as well as to refine us. He wants us to purify ourselves and earn everlasting reward. We, however, so often behave like the young child in the mashal and only worry about not getting punished. Imagine if we could raise ourselves to Hashem’s level of fear, and worry about our spiritual and eternal wellbeing. That’s what the Torah is asking of us.
It’s not easy to live a spiritually focused life, but Hashem knows we are capable of it and therefore requires it. This, however, applies to us as adults. Meanwhile, many of us slip up and expect more of our children than they are capable of doing, and we forget that there are many things that will remain beyond their ability until they grow up (which, even then, will be a struggle). For instance, we may tell off a child who noshes too much — and forget that we too have trouble reining in our appetite for tasty yet unhealthy food. We may become frustrated with a child who wastes time while somehow managing simultaneously to overlook or justify the time we ourselves waste.
Of course every good parent wants to see his child develop into an ehrliche Yid, but forcing a child to focus on the true ideals in life before his time will never work. Let’s instead focus on growing up ourselves and setting the right example.
