It states (10:12) ממך שואל אלקיך 'ה מה ישראל ועתה אותו ולאהבה דרכיו בכל ללכת אלקיך 'ה את ליראה אם כי נפשך ובכל לבבך בכל אלקיך 'ה את ולעבוד , "Now, Yisrael, what does Hashem, your G-d, ask of you? Only to fear Hashem, your G-d, to go in all His ways, love Him, and serve Hashem, your G-d, with all your heart and soul." The Midrash (Bereishis Rabba 6:6) says about this pasuk, תשובה לשון אלא ועתה אין, the word עתה, now, refers to teshuvah. This is because the concept of teshuvah is to begin now. It doesn't make a difference what was until this moment. Now you can turn over a new leaf. Perhaps you committed severe aveiros in the past, and maybe you spent many years of your life in foolishness. It doesn't make a difference. You can begin your teshuvah now. Rebbe Boruch of Mezhibuz zt'l taught:
ישראל ועתה implies that one should think: what was, was. ועתה, but from now on, ישראל, I will act like a Yisrael, and I will be cautious with all the mitzvos.
Furthermore, some people think they are missing something essential, preventing them from doing teshuvah. They say, "If I would have parnassah, I would have more time on my hands to daven and to learn, but how can I do teshuvah in my present situation?"
Or they say, "If I had brains like that person's, I would study Torah and do teshuvah, but as I am, how can I do teshuvah?"
The Torah tells us that we can do teshuvah "now." We don't have to wait until any situation changes; we can do it now, the way we are.
Reb Mendel Futerfas zt'l spoke about his imprisonment in Siberia. The warden made a rule that the prisoners couldn't play cards. This law was made to break the prisoners' spirits. Some of the prisoners smuggled in a deck of cards, and they would play in their barracks.
Once, one of the prisoners snitched on them. The guards came to their quarters and searched everywhere for the cards, but they didn’t find anything.
This is what happened: One of the prisoners was an expert at pickpocketing. (Maybe that was why he was imprisoned.) He knew how to take a wallet out of another person’s pocket, without the person feeling anything. This time, instead of picking a pocket, he used his talents to place the deck of cards into the pocket of one of the guards who was searching the barracks.
The guard looked for the deck of cards under the beds, inside the drawers, and in everyone's pockets but didn’t realize it was in his pocket.
Reb Mendel concluded that he learned a lesson in mussar from this episode. Sometimes, a person is searching all over for something and doesn't realize that what he is looking for is right near him.
A person may think that he lacks something essential to be able to do teshuvah. Do not worry. You have all the cards in your pocket. You have all that it takes to do teshuvah. You have the potential, and you can begin your teshuvah right away.
The Gemara (Avodah Zarah 17.) tells the story of Reb Elazar ben Durdaya who was a great baal aveirah his entire life. When he finally realized that he must do teshuvah, he went between two mountains and said, "Mountains, daven for me. Ask that Hashem have compassion on me."
The mountains replied, "Before we daven for you, we have to daven for ourselves..." He said, "Heaven and earth, pray for me." They replied, "Before we pray for you, we have to pray for ourselves..."
Reb Elazar ben Durdaya said, תלוי הדבר אין בי אלא, "The matter is up to me." He realized that no one would help him do teshuvah. It was in his own hands. "He put his head between his knees and cried copiously until his neshamah left him. A bas kol came forth and said, 'Reb Elazar ben Durdaya is prepared for Olam HaBa.'
Rebbe cried and said, "Some acquire the world [of Olam Haba after serving Hashem] for many years, and some acquire [Olam HaBa] in a moment." He was referring to Reb Elazar bed Durdaya who merited Olam HaBa in the last moments of his lifetime. Rebbe added, "It isn't solely that baalei teshuvah are accepted. They are also called 'Rebbe.'" He was called Elazar ben Durdaya his entire life. He wasn't Reb Elazar. But during the final moment of his life, he did teshuvah, and the bas kol called him Reb Elazar ben Durdaya. This is the greatness of teshuvah! His teshuvah was accepted, and he is even called Rebbe.
Rebbe is a title for someone who teaches Torah. What did Reb Elazar ben Durdaya teach us, that he deserves the title Rebbe? The meforshim explain that he taught us a great lesson. He taught us אלא תלוי הדבר אין בי; the matter is entirely in my own hands. If you want to do teshuvah, don't rely on others to help you.
Baalei Mussar tell the following mashal:
A thief saw someone showing his friends a precious diamond. At that moment, the thief decided that this diamond would become his. He followed the wealthy person wherever he went, and when the rich man bought a ticket to journey on a ship, the thief purchased a ticket on the same ship. He asked the salesperson to sleep in the same room as this wealthy person.
In the middle of the night, when the man was sleeping, the thief got out of his bed and began searching through the wealthy man's bags and clothing. But he couldn’t find the diamond.
In the morning, he said to the wealthy person, "I admit my sin. I was searching for your diamond, I wanted to steal it, but I didn't find it. But now please explain to me how that happened. I am an expert thief and have had success for forty years. This is the first time I failed, and I want to know why that occurred."
The wealthy man replied, "I realized you were following me these past few days, and I understood you were interested in my diamond. Therefore, I knew to be cautious of you. So, I hid the diamond where I knew you wouldn't find it—in your clothes!"
The nimshal is that people think the key to their success is the qualities and the good traits they find in others. They don't know that they have the key to their success within themselves.
The Ritvah (end of Pesachim, in his commentary to Haggadah shel Pesach, ליצחק ואתן ה"ד) explains the reason Yaakov and Eisav were born as twins. It was to show us that it isn't the parents, the location, or the mazal that determine whether a child will turn out to be a tzaddik or a rasha. Yaakov and Eisav were born to the same parents; they lived in the same neighborhood and were born with the same mazal. Yet Yaakov became a tzaddik and Eisav a rasha. Therefore, one shouldn't say, "If I had parents like that tzaddik, I would also be like him." Or, "If I had been brought up in the neighborhood where he was, I would be like him." Because the person's decision to serve Hashem will determine whether he will be a tzaddik.
It states (Shemos 1:6) במצרים היה ויוסף, and it states (Bereishis 12:6) בארץ אז והכנעני, so we see that it is possible to live in Mitzrayim and be like Yosef HaTzaddik, and it is possible to live in Eretz Yisrael and be like the Canaanites. More than the location, the primary factor determining who a person is will be the person's free choice to do what's right.
