REMAINING CALM
Rambam points out that although with regard to most middos the Chachomim say that one should take the middle path, not following either extreme, with regard to anger they warn that a person should keep a great distance, never becoming angry.
(רמב"ם הלכות דעות פ"ב ה"ג)
Reb Mordechai of Neshchiz of course already owned at least one tallis katan, but he yearned to have one that came from Eretz Yisroel. After much effort, his chassidim finally managed to bring him a piece of white lamb's wool cloth all the way from Eretz HaKodesh. One of them asked to be granted the zechus of cutting it to size and sewing its hems. In his excitement, however, he made a false fold and discovered to his horror that while cutting a hole for the head, he had made another wide hole right in the front of the tallis katan!
"What will the Rebbe say?" the chossid thought. "After waiting for this cherished object for so long, and after all the effort that has gone into getting it, it's now completely ruined!"
When the Rebbe next saw him, and asked whether the garment was ready, he sadly stammered out his story.
"Reb Yid, why are you afraid?" said the Rebbe. "Don't you realize that a tallis katan really needs two big holes? One, as usual, to put one's head through, and the other – to test whether Mordechai will 'lose his head'..."
(סיפורי חסידים זוין תורה ע' 457)
Reb Yitzchak of Vorki loved all his fellows so warmly that he never got angry at anyone. Once, however, a certain woman bothered him so much that he was forced to rebuke her.
"In order to become angry," he said, "I must first put on a different kapote."
So he asked Feivl, his meshares, to bring him his other kapote. When he had put it on, he said, "Feivl, now rebuke her for me, please."
(סיפורי חסידים זוין מועדים ע' 210)
WITHSTANDING THE TEST
Surrounded by his talmidim, the Baal Shem Tov took his place at the table for the festive meal of Rosh Chodesh, but his face was serious. They knew from previous occasions how to bring their Rebbe to a more joyous mood, but this time they had no success. They were then joined by a certain villager named Reb Dovid, and the Baal Shem Tov was immediately filled with joy: he treated him warmly, gave him a place to sit, and also gave him a piece of his hamotzi.
The talmidim were now troubled by questioning thoughts. How could it be that the whole Holy Society was unable to arouse such joy, and only a villager, a simple yishuvnik, was able to do so?
Sensing their questions, the Baal Shem Tov sent off Reb Dovid to do something or other, and then explained:
"This Reb Dovid works hard, by the sweat of his brow, for every penny he earns. During the year he saves a penny at a time to buy an esrog for Sukkos, until he finally assembles the sum and travels to the city and buys an extremely fine one. It gives him great joy. Since he is poor, and his wife is of a bitter spirit, it angered her considerably that he didn't care about the condition of his household, since he spent money on an esrog and rejoiced over it. In her bitterness she broke the pitom of the esrog.
"Now, besides the money that he spent on the esrog, there were many obstacles to bringing it – water to cross, bad roads– so it all added up to a great deal of hard effort. Yet when he discovered what his wife had done he was not angry, but simply said, 'It appears that I am not worthy of having such an esrog. Truly, does a simple Yid like me deserve such a fine esrog?'
"From the time of the Akeidah," concluded the Baal Shem Tov, "there hasn't been such a test of character. And that's why I treated him so warmly."
(ספר השיחות תרצ"ו ע' 148)
THE KEY TO TRANQUILITY
The Rebbe Maharash had a meshares, Bentzion, who was a great kapdan – a short-tempered fellow. The Raza, the brother of the Rebbe Rashab, used to say, "When I see a wrongdoing, I get angry just as he does. The difference between us is that I put aside the anger for an hour and a minute, and by that time I realize that it is all a shtus."
(ספר השיחות תש"ו-ה'שי"ת ע' 107)
In dealing with anger the Rebbe would advise: Learn thoroughly the passage of Tanya which explains that everything comes from HaShem; don't speak for a while, at least a few minutes; and think about how HaShem is standing over you at that moment.
In one letter the Rebbe writes, "As to what you write concerning anger, etch in your mind that which is written in Tanya at the beginning of perek mem-alef – that HaShem stands over every individual and searches his heart. When you recall while you're angry, that HaShem is actually standing over you, your anger will surely pass immediately."
(אג"ק חכ"ו מכ' ט'תשצה)
