Baby Tamar was left alone in the hospital, waiting for someone to come and pick her up. She lay alone, wrapped in a hospital blanket in the crib. A sweet baby, with a pair of smart, questioning eyes, a tiny nose and curls. A foster mother talks about her first meeting with little Tamar.
One day, the phone rang with the best news we could get. And no, it wasn't Erela. It was a social worker who informed us that a little girl was now in the hospital and needed a foster family. We drove there and found a sweet baby, with a pair of smart, questioning eyes, a tiny nose and curls, wrapped in a pack of blankets in a hospital crib. Like a lightning strike, a minute and a half, maybe a little less. We fell in love with her completely.
This story is really not what we expected or planned. When we were offered to become a foster family, we didn't imagine Tamar (a pseudonym), such a sweet baby. We were no longer young at the time, and we had a completely different picture in our heads: we thought of small, frightened children who desperately needed a home and a lot of love. In our wildest imagination we didn't come up with this sweet, featherweight package - beautiful. Healthy, whole, with slender fingers, who happened to be born at the wrong time, in the wrong place, to the world and situation that could not contain her, and she was left in the hospital waiting, alone, until someone came to pick her up.
For the past four years we have belonged to a very special group of families who have decided to become foster families. The initial decision stemmed from a fairly natural process of a couple in the second half of life, with children, some of whom have already grown up, who was debating whether it was still possible to do something meaningful in life. Is it time to conquer the Himalayas or run to the million? Or alternatively - maybe something can be done for someone? Perhaps to help a child in need? While we were deliberating, we did a short search on the Internet. Quick registration on the Orr Shalom website and we were already deep in the process. An efficient array of social workers who are responsible for some of the organization's extensive activities conducted comprehensive screenings for us. We found ourselves filling out forms, coming to meetings, acquiring new vocabulary, giving interviews and most of all, telling the biological children that this is what they want most. After a few months of preparation and another course in MA (a course dedicated to future foster parents), we got a new perspective and a lot of insights into the foster care process. A few more months of anticipation and one disappointment passed before the long-awaited phone call arrived.
This crying can no longer be stopped until after a while, when the commotion of reception and the organization of the room for the little one subsided, we realized that something was missing. The beautiful eyes are silent, penetrating the soul without sound. There is no babies chattering, no crying, no burping, no sound. Silence and silence. A baby who forgot how to cry, because she knew that even if she cried, no one would come. We developed a great concern. For hours, the children and I turned the crib on tiptoe. We approach carefully, listen and hope, maybe a little girl will come out. About a week passed before the long-awaited sound was heard. Without prior warning, the house was flooded with baby crying, a real cry of a tiny soul that had experienced great distress. Maybe hunger, maybe a diaper? Who remembers what it was about. Our sudden crying sounded like the sound of bells, and with it came a deep consciousness. This crying can no longer be stopped! This new cry already has an attentive ear. Then she "went all out", a big, deep, throaty and expressive cry, with huge tears, rolling on her eyelashes, which have no end. We cried too, but with excitement and joy.
Days pass, months and years. The love at home only intensifies and grows, and happiness is enduring happiness. The power of discovery – the first step, a trip, a zoo, winter puddles, the pleasure of the first words. The intensity of the words "Mom" and "Dad" roll in a tiny mouth that chats freely without worries. All this happiness in a family setting where nothing is taken for granted – this is the unique story of foster families.
A huge heart and endless love
And there were also the small bonuses, such as the responsibility and mobilization of the extended family – uncles, grandparents, the concessions and insights of the older children, as well as the mixed feelings of pride and jealousy of the younger daughter. We thought we had taught them a real lesson in social awareness when we enlisted to serve as a foster family, and when they grew up they would have turned the world upside down. And lo and behold, no. They are the ones who taught us that you don't have to climb barricades to bring about revolutions. It is also possible in daily life to see the change happening inside the home. To see them become human beings full of sensitivity and dedication and giving to others, with a huge heart and endless love.
We have all been privileged and still get to take part every day anew in transforming this little girl we received as a gift from the organization and from life, into a wise and talented being, beautiful and captivating. We see her growing in front of us, a musical girl, dancing lovely, full of energy and joy of life. We all love her with all our hearts, we pamper her at every opportunity and she, for her part, asks for more and more hugs and kisses all the time and also receives. Foster care is a rare privilege to do something important for a child who needs a warm home and especially for your own family. As of today, Erella hasn't called yet, but even if she never calls, we've already won the big lottery.
