By Sarah Chana Radcliffe
How do you know your child feels loved by you? No one can ever be sure how another person feels in his or her heart, but here are some likely indicators that your child of any age feels loved by you: your child opens up to you about feelings and concerns; your child seeks ways to be with you and interact with you; your child notices what your efforts and acts of kindness and expresses appreciation in age-appropriate ways; your child communicates love to you in writing or words either spontaneously or on "occasions" such as your birthday; your child is at peace around you - not argumentative, defensive or combative; your child clearly likes you. When it comes to the parent-child relationship, a child who FEELS loved, returns that love. Most often, when a child doesn't feel loved, he or she withdraws from or fights with, the parent.
Fights are exhausting and destructive - and unnecessary.... You will have differences of opinion with your loved one. To avoid the feeling of "fighting" at such times, conduct the entire conversation patiently, repeating the words of the speaker BEFORE speaking your own, and speaking in a very slow, quiet voice. Allow spaces. Breathe. Relax. Continue one slow sentence at a time. Oddly enough, you'll get to where you want to go a lot faster!
