Problem Solving
So you’ll say, “Well, Rabbi Miller, you’re good at describing the problem but what are we to do about it? We’re human beings after all. We get frustrated, angry, irritated all the time; so what’s the solution?”
And it’s a good question actually because there’s no magic wand that I can wave over you. It takes work; it takes thinking. But if we had to look for one thing; if you were cornered and had to come up with one solution how to overcome this problem of kaas, frustration, that keeps cropping up, so listen now in the few minutes we have left.
You know, there’s a sefer called Orchos Tzaddikim and the author there talks about middos; about a middah and its opposite. He talks, for example, about gaavah, arrogance, and he talks about the opposite – anavah, humility. And that’s how he goes through all the traits of character, each middah and its opposite.
But when he comes to the quality of kaas, anger, we’re surprised to see that he doesn’t say that the opposite of kaas is to be calm, to control yourself; no, he doesn’t say that. The Orchos Tzaddikim says the opposite of kaas is ratzon, satisfaction. It means to willingly accept, to be satisfied with what happens, that’s the other side of the coin of anger.
Anger Is Opposition
Anger is an emotional-physical response to opposition. It’s a natural process of the body that is intended to be used where it’s needed; it can help you overcome dangerous opponents.
However, our problem is that we have trained our emotions to react even when there’s no danger, no actual opposition. Even imaginary opposition can induce the same effects emotionally and physically.
So here is a man who is angry. But it’s not that he’s fighting against the wicked; there’s no big gentile following him down a dark street. He’s not afraid for his life – he’s angry because he expected when he came home tonight that there should be a fleishige supper and his wife tells him the good news there’s fish tonight.
Ooh, right away those glands begin to operate!
Now, it doesn’t mean he’s going to turn red or holler. Sometimes you have a meshugene husband who will do that too but I’m talking now about even healthy people. He’s not going
