Humor

Parsha Plus | December 31, 2025

At a Bar, a NUN stands and preaches to all who would listen: Drinking is Bad.
Man: Have you tried it?
Nun: No, Never.
Man: Ok, you try once, if you don't like it, I'll give up Drinking.
Nun: Ok, but bring it in Teacup, I don't want people seeing me drinking.
Man goes to the bartender and says: Give me two Shots of Rum in Tea-Cups.
Bartender: Is that NUN here again again?
A Surgeon, an engineer, and a politician were arguing as to which profession was older. "Well," argued the Surgeon, "G-d created Eve from Adam by form of surgery, so I am sure that mine is the oldest profession." "No," said the engineer, "before life began there was complete chaos, and it took an engineer to create some semblance of order from this chaos. So engineering is older."
"But," chirped the triumphant politician, "who do you think created the chaos?"
You know the story about the rabbi who in the middle of his Yizkor sermon on Yom Kippur, pounds on the table and says ‘Wake up to the fact that every single person in this congregation, myself included, is going to die!”
And as he expected, everyone’s suddenly very alarmed, except for one man in the third row whose face breaks out into a broad smile.
And the rabbi is so shocked, he points to this man and says, “so why are you so amused, aren’t you afraid?”
And the man shrugs his shoulders and answers, “Well I’m not from this congregation. I’m just visiting my sister.
An American tourist in Tel Aviv was about to enter the impressive Mann Auditorium to take in a concert by the Israel Philharmonic. He was admiring the unique architecture, the sweeping lines of the entrance, and the modern decor throughout the building. Finally he turned to his friend and asked if the building was named for Thomas Mann, the world-famous author.
"No," his friend said, "it's named for Fredrick Mann, from Philadelphia."
"Really? I've never heard of him. What did he write?"
"A check."

At a Bar, a NUN stands and preaches to all who would listen: Drinking is Bad.
Man: Have you tried it?
Nun: No, Never.
Man: Ok, you try once, if you don't like it, I'll give up Drinking.
Nun: Ok, but bring it in Teacup, I don't want people seeing me drinking.
Man goes to the bartender and says: Give me two Shots of Rum in Tea-Cups.
Bartender: Is that NUN here again again?
A Surgeon, an engineer, and a politician were arguing as to which profession was older. "Well," argued the Surgeon, "G-d created Eve from Adam by form of surgery, so I am sure that mine is the oldest profession." "No," said the engineer, "before life began there was complete chaos, and it took an engineer to create some semblance of order from this chaos. So engineering is older."
"But," chirped the triumphant politician, "who do you think created the chaos?"
You know the story about the rabbi who in the middle of his Yizkor sermon on Yom Kippur, pounds on the table and says ‘Wake up to the fact that every single person in this congregation, myself included, is going to die!”
And as he expected, everyone’s suddenly very alarmed, except for one man in the third row whose face breaks out into a broad smile.
And the rabbi is so shocked, he points to this man and says, “so why are you so amused, aren’t you afraid?”
And the man shrugs his shoulders and answers, “Well I’m not from this congregation. I’m just visiting my sister.
An American tourist in Tel Aviv was about to enter the impressive Mann Auditorium to take in a concert by the Israel Philharmonic. He was admiring the unique architecture, the sweeping lines of the entrance, and the modern decor throughout the building. Finally he turned to his friend and asked if the building was named for Thomas Mann, the world-famous author.
"No," his friend said, "it's named for Fredrick Mann, from Philadelphia."
"Really? I've never heard of him. What did he write?"
"A check."

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Parsha Plus | September 22, 2023