A third hazard is when the yetzer hara tells us, “It’s just a joke! I didn’t mean anything....” “It’s a joke” doesn’t excuse the issur of לא תונו in the slightest. It is forbidden to hurt a Yid. We are not permitted to make jokes at others’ expense, no matter how many people laugh at it. Baruch Hashem, we can find many ehrliche badchanim who are skilled at their craft, and yet will never venture into hurtful jokes or imitate people.
Going to the Extreme
The issur of לא תונו brings about many problems beruchniyus u’begashmiyus, with many far-reaching outcomes, and we must habituate ourselves to veer away from it. There are many other topics we can discuss, and there is so much more to be gained when sharing words of affirmation to others rather than negative words.
Now, for the person who was hurt, this is a tremendous opportunity for kaparas avonos, and for many other good things, as we learn from Chazal and sifrei mussar, but we are talking here about the severity of offending, hurting, or embarrassing a person through our words.
Our tzaddikim have taught us through their example to take one hundred steps in the other direction rather than risk the slightest chance of hurting another person. There are stories of tzaddikim who made calculations on top of calculations in every move in order to ensure that another person would not be hurt by their words or actions. The story is told about a tzaddik who would not exit his home on the way to a simchah in his Shabbos finery, all due to his concern that his neighbors would feel sad because they do not have a simchah in their family.
Our efforts and our mindfulness not to hurt another are the greatest vehicles for hashra’as haShechinah and for many, many brachos, b’ezras Hashem.
