How do you count cows? A: With a cowculator.
What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball? A: Juan on Juan.
On the first day of school, the teacher asked a student, "What are your parents' names?" The student replied, "My father's name is Laughing and my mother's name is Smiling." The teacher said, "Are you kidding?" The student said, "No, Kidding is my brother. I am Joking."
What is Mozart doing right now? A: Decomposing.
A man speaks frantically into the phone, "My wife is pregnant, and her contractions are only two minutes apart!" "Is this her first child?" the doctor queries. "No, you idiot!" the man shouts. "This is her husband!"
I decided to make my password "incorrect" because if I type it in wrong, my computer will remind me, "Your password is incorrect."
I found a book called How to Solve 50% of Your Problems. So I bought 2.
