We’re just past Pesach now, and my thoughts turn back to that Pesach four years ago when so many of us were confronted with the difficult circumstances of lockdown and the fears of the pandemic that seemed such a threat. Several weeks after we all had to be confined to our homes, people I talked to started asking me, “Nu, so I guess you’re dealing with more shalom bayis issues, with everyone stuck at home together, right?”
I thought about it a lot, and realized that it wasn’t so, for the most part. Of course there were couples with issues, but even those couples who had been struggling before the lockdowns began were actually doing better, in general, than before. Why?
The Baal HaTanya explains that a chassan and kallah have totally different natures and ordinarily, would be incapable of living together in harmony. The chuppah, however, is symbolic of Hashem above both of them and their submission to His Torah and mitzvos, which enables them to build a home of shalom.
I believe that during the lockdowns, when people were grateful for being alive and felt humbled due to everything that was going on around them, it was easier to focus on the good points in one another and build stable and loving relationships, based on humility and appreciation.
The truth is that we all need large doses of humility to build healthy relationships, with our parents, our children, and our spouses. May Hashem help us to see the good in each other, fix the flaws in ourselves, and enjoy true peace and harmony forever.
