Taking Good Advice
So I’ll tell you an eitzah of one of the gedolei mussar of Europe, one of the biggest balei mussar in the world at that time. I heard this from him sixty two years ago. Pay attention because this eitzah is worth money. It’s an eitzah hagunah, it’s worth millions, but you have to do it. Otherwise it’s worth zero.
“Start with one person,” he said. “To love all people all of a sudden is not easy.” תָּפַסְתָּ מְרֻבֶּה לֹא תָּפַסְתָּ – If you take hold of too much at one time you can’t do it; it’s too heavy; you’ll drop it. Pick one Jew and work on him. Make up your mind you’ll specialize in him. Whether he’s a chaver or one of your rebbeim or that person you see on the street every day, say “I love that man.” Say the words baal peh, “I love that man.”
At first it’s min hasafah el hachutz, it doesn’t mean a thing. Keep on saying it anyhow. You see him on the street far away - “I love that man.” He doesn’t have any especial love for you, but you ignore that. You’re worried about yourself now, so try to think about him in terms of the Torah.
Strategic Love
It shouldn’t be empty, hollow words. You should think of reasons to love him. וּבְתַחְבֻּלוֹת עֲשֵׂה מִלְחָמָה – With strategems you make war (Mishlei 20:18); it means war against the yetzer hara. So think of things to love about him. If he has a nice smile, grab onto that. If he has a nice way of talking, nice manners al achas kamah v’kamah; you can imagine all good things about him.
When you see his face from a distance, say, isn't he a nice looking man? Every Jew, every frum Jew is a tzelem Elokim; no question, every frum face is a tzelem Elokim. If he has a nice face, love him for his nice face.
Looking for an Excuse
Even his necktie. He wears a nice necktie? Love him for that. You say it’s nothing? So it’s nothing. You know there’s such a thing as sinas chinam; but there’s ahavas chinam too – it’s no sin to love him for nothing. So imagine that you like him because of the way he dresses. Why not? A nice looking face, a pleasant face and a pleasant tie.
If he’s a plumber, love him for that; we need Jewish plumbers. If he’s a doctor, he’s a valuable personality; we should love him for that. If he’s a melamed, he teaches Jewish children, we should love him for that. Find excuses for loving him. These are good excuses.
