A Unique Pleasure for the Yetzer Hara
The pasuk (Vayikra 19:33) tells us, “וכי יגור אתך גר בארצכם לא תונו אותו, when a stranger resides with you in your land, you shall not wrong him.” Rashi (ibid.) explains that this refers to onaas devarim, hurting the ger with words. “Do not tell him, ‘Yesterday you worshipped idols, and today you wish to learn Torah that was given by HaKadosh Baruch Hu?’” While the Torah used the example of a stranger or a convert—because they are exceptionally sensitive, having been born outside the community—the law applies to everyone: It is forbidden to hurt another person with our words, even inadvertently.
This is a pitfall that is very prevalent, and an area that needs much chizuk, because this is a field in which the yetzer hara invests many efforts to trip us up since the repercussions are far-reaching. The yetzer hara derives special pleasure when we hurt another person with our words, even inadvertently, by being careless.
Just as with the mitzvah of tzedakah, we are taught that even inadvertently giving to another person counts as a mitzvah—because, at the end of the day, the purpose was accomplished—so too, the inverse is true with onaas devarim; even if we didn’t mean to hurt the person, much irreparable damage can be done through negative words, and no amount of forgiveness can ever fully repair it. Aside from the tremendous pain that words of hurt may cause a person as well as the Shechinah HaKedoshah, they can also prevent a person from advancing spiritually. Rashi’s example—embarrassing a person by comparing him to his former self—is extremely common. This type of hurtful language, says the Torah, is a lav d’Oraisa.
