Question: I have a very hard time making decisions. Even after I make a decision I am beset with doubts. Be it a new job, new clothing or jewelry, car, house, school for my children, whatever! The thing is that once I make a decision, I do carry it out. However, the whole time I am hesitant and unsure. How can I feel more secure once I make a decision.
Answer: Once a person has decided on a course of action, visualizing a positive outcome not only increases the probability of its actualization, but also puts one in a happier mood.
For example, a person decides to accept a certain job. In the days before their first day, they imagine positive interactions with colleagues, enjoying the work, being successful and enjoying the new environment. Not only will they feel better in the days leading up to their first day of work, but their upbeat and positive mood will greatly enhance the probability of a good outcome.
On a more spiritual level, the Rebbe explains that happiness brings positive energy to the person and helps bring about blessings in his life. The Zohar says, everything happening in this world has an effect in the higher worlds. If one is happy down here, he can draw light and joy upon himself from Above. For this reason, it is so important to be happy and avoid even thinking negative thoughts. As Chassidus teaches: “Tracht gut vet zein gut - Think good and it will be good.”
In addition, “think good and it will be good” is effective even when a situation appears bleak. As the Rebbe explains: When a person decides to place their trust in G‑d, believing that their current crisis will be resolved favorably despite facing a bleak reality, they have, in effect, risen above their own nature, which in turn elicits, reciprocally, the suspension of the Divine order, in which only the righteous are deserving of salvation. G‑d understands how difficult and even “supernatural” it is for a human being to believe sincerely—to the degree that he or she no longer experiences fear and anxiety—that an unpromising and even seemingly hopeless situation will have a positive outcome. Therefore, as a result and even reward for the extraordinary act of “thinking good,” G‑d deems the believer, who may be otherwise undeserving of a positive outcome, as deserving of an extra measure of Divine generosity in this instance. (excerpted from Positivity Bias).
Once a decision has been made, positive thinking will only enhance the probability of a good outcome. The more you accustom yourself to seeing the world in this way, the more natural it will become.
Aharon Schmidt, marriage & individual counseling, [email protected]
