“Hi, Rabbi. This is Susie*,” said the woman on the phone. “I was wondering - can you officiate my father’s memorial?”
“I’ve officiated many funerals before, but what exactly is a memorial...?” I asked, with a sinking heart.
“Well, my dad passed away in Florida. We’re going to cremate him, and then inter his remains in the family plot up here. We’ll have a nice ceremony, and I was wondering if you can come and do the Jewish stuff.”
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I immediately began explaining the importance of a proper Jewish burial, and the pain cremation causes the neshama. Susie was polite, but noncommittal.
“I hear you, Rabbi,” she answered. “I wouldn’t want my kids to cremate me, but what can we do? My dad only left a couple hundred dollars to cover the expenses!”
“If that’s the only issue, leave it to me!” I said. “I’ll make sure your father receives a kosher burial.”
I called the Chevra Kadisha in Florida to see what could be done. They recommended transferring the body to Long Island and burying it here. I quickly raised the necessary amount and made the arrangements.
I called Susie to update her, and explained the next stage in the process: the taharah. Susie sounded discomfited.
“My dad picked out a special outfit to be buried in,” she explained. “It’s his favorite golfing set - a beautiful green plaid.”
“That sounds so nice,” I said, patiently. “But I assure you, your dad no longer wants that. Now that he’s in Heaven, amongst the other souls, he wants to be just like them. Simple, white burial shrouds will give him entry to every palace in Heaven.”
Susie agreed, and we carried on with the preparations. At the last moment, Susie asked for one final favor. “He loved golf so much, and really wanted to have something from golf buried with him. Can we do that?”
After considering it for a while, I was able to accede to her request. We buried her father with a proper kevurah - and added some golf balls alongside his plot.
*Names changed to protect privacy
