TRUE STORY
Ephraim Goldstone was heavily involved in his close friend’s life’s struggles. He was extremely successful, and he loved what he was doing. His friend’s entire family became new people, and he felt like a million dollars. He was Mamash part of the family. However, his friend was not good for Ephraim’s own Ruchaniyus, and he experienced lots of Yeridos. He knew that: חַי יךֶָּקוֹדְּמ ין you come first, and he must get away from the situation.
But he was too far gone, and he was “addicted” to helping people that always needed him. He kept davening that Hashem should do some miracle, since he realized that every Yid should be addicted only to Hashem, like it says: אֲנ יֶּלְּדוֹד יֶּוְּדוֹד יֶּל י I only have one Friend in Shamayim. As he was going to visit them, he davened against his grain (which is a tremendous Zechus) and he said: “I know that I can’t help (stop) what I’m doing, but I’m still davening that Hashem should realize that deep down I want only Him.”
As soon as he came to his friend’s house, suddenly he got into a fight, and they hurt his feelings badly. He grabbed the opportunity to distance himself from them. He loved them more than himself, and normally he would forgive completely. But: לְֶּּצוֹר ֶּךְֶֶּּהֶַּשֶָּעֶָּה right now he felt there was a Mitzva to start a war, and to write down their Chesronos until he’d lose his Cheshek (desire) for them.
The Danger of Having Ayin Hara on People
For the first time in his life, he started being Dan (to judge) לְֶּּכֶַּףֶּ חוֹבֶָּה negatively, and seeing only evil in them. He did this for several days, and when his friend kept calling him, he didn’t answer the phone. By accident, he met his friend in the street, and his friend told him that the last few days, the whole family is in a terrible state. Look at the power of being critical even without the other person’s knowledge!
Ephraim promised that he would daven for them, and he walked away telling Hashem what wonderful people they are. After an hour he called the house, and indeed, things improved, but not enough. He spent another few minutes with Hashem, calling them Tzaddikim, etc. He kept doing this, and gradually they became back to normal!
They became friends again, until he suddenly had another skirmish with them. At this point, he had already become used to a Hakpada mode, and he started writing their Chesronos (although much more gently than before). Suddenly, someone in his own family became sick, and he called his friend to ask for M’chila (forgiveness). Soon after, his family member had a Refua Shleima.
He learned his lesson about the danger of Ayin Hara on people, and he started working more and more on being Dan L'kaf Zechus and loving everyone. The Mashgiach, R'...
