Now, during the Ten Days of Teshuva (from Rosh Hashana through Yom Kippur), a person needs to feel embarrassed in front of Hashem.
The embarrassment comes from the fact that Hashem brings us close to Him, He “shines His Face” towards us, as described above, yet, we are very far from Him (as it were) because of our sins that separate us from Him (as it were), as it is written: “I am embarrassed and ashamed to lift up my face to You, My G-d, for our sins have increased above our heads...” (Ezra 9:6)
And as it is written in the Zohar (vol. III), at the end of Parshas Bechukosai (115b) on the verse (Vayikra 26:44): “And even then, when they are in the land of their enemies, I (Hashem) will not despise or be disgusted with them ‘לְכ ל ַׁו ַׁתָּם- to the point of destroying them’ (Heaven forbid).”
This word ‘לַכְׂלוֹ תָם-to the point of destroying them,’ is written similar to the word “לְכ ל ָּתַָּׁם-because they are His bride.”
This is comparable to a bride who works in a market of animal hide tanners, and because the groom’s great love for her, it seems to him like it is a perfume market, and he enjoys visiting her in the tanners’ market, despite the smell.
In other words, because of Hashem’s great love for us, he enjoys our closeness, despite the “smell” or our sins.
This is why we ask Hashem to forgive us, so that He shouldn’t have to smell the bad smell of our “tanners’ market,” i.e., our sins.
Meaning, that He should “pour upon us pure waters,” (see Yechezkal 36:25), to wash away the bad smell of our “tanners’ market” or sins.
I.e., we aren’t just asking Hashem to forgive us, but also to cleanse us spiritually.
The idea of these “pure waters” is that they represent the “13 Attributes of Mercy” of Hashem, which are also called “13 Rivers of Pure Afarsemon Oil.”
Afarsemon Oil has a very good smell, which is able to cancel out even a very bad smell. So too, Hashem’s Attributes of Mercy are able to wash away the bad smell of our sins.
These (“pure waters”) are drawn from a level called “Hidden of all Hidden,” and “Desire behind all Desires.”
The Source of Pure Waters
Meaning, by way of analogy: The (underground) source of a spring of water is not openly revealed, only the rivers that flow from it are revealed, so too, the level of Hashem’s Light that is called “the Hidden of all Hidden” is the source from where the 13 Attributes of Mercy are drawn from.
That is why on Rosh Hashana, Hashem is called “the One who sits on the Throne of Mercy,” since at that time He is revealing His “Desire behind all Desires.”
Meaning, He reveals His innermost desire to connect to the Jewish people and cleanse them of their sins. At this deep level, He is the source of the 13 Attributes of Mercy, that clean us like “pure water” and “Afarsemon oil.” Because he reveals Himself as the source of the 13 Attributes of Mercy, He is referred to as “sitting on the Throne of Mercy.”
The Innermost Desire in Every Jew
Now, this idea of the “desire behind all desires,” i.e., the innermost desire, exists in every Jew.
This is the innermost essence of the heart, which is above (precedes) the faculty of logical explanation, and it is called “Yechida-One and only Essence.”
This is referred to in the verse: “Save my soul from the sword, and my ‘Yechida-Essence’ from the ‘dog.’” (Tehillim 22:21)
The ‘dog’ is a metaphor for the forces of unholiness, who wish to drag down the essential desire and passion of the soul into coarse physical desires.
Meaning, to remove one’s passions and desires from material matters, and instead to connect to Hashem with passionate yearning, so that his deep innermost desire to only connect to the One Hashem should be revealed.
With the call of the Shofar, he awakens this level that was “sleeping,” that exists in each and every Jew.
Through this level (of Yechida), he brings down the 13 Attributes of Mercy during each day of the Ten Days of Teshuva, which are the "rivers” of Pure Afarsemon Oil, which come from their source in Hashem’s “Desire behind all Desires,” as explained above, and will be understood to the discerning.
These (13 Attributes of Mercy) are also called “Pure Waters,” since they wash away the bad smell of the sins.
Summary
To summarize:
- Hashem’s Attributes of Mercy clean us of our sins.
- They come from Hashem’s Innermost Desire to connect to the Jewish People.
- This Innermost Desire of Hashem is revealed when we reveal our Innermost Desire to connect to Him.
- To do that we need to pull ourselves away from getting caught up in our other desires.
- A very important time to do this is in on Rosh Hashana, when Hashem gives us the strength and ability to look past our external desires and reveal our innermost desire to connect to Hashem.
