Learning Torah During Elul
The Talmidim of R' Yisroel Salanter Zatzal learned 18 hours a day during Elul. They had special Kochos in Elul. And learning Torah is #1 for Teshuva, like we say in Shmoneh Esrei: הֲ ש יב נוְּ א ב ינוְּ ל תוֹר תֶ ך bring us back to Your Torah, and only afterwards we say: ו ק ר ב נוְּ מ ל כ נוְּ ל עֲ בוֹד תֶ ך bring us back to Your Avoda. But notice how Dovid says: א ח תְ שָ אַלְ תִּ יְְש ב ת יְב ב יתְה'ְ I ask ONLY to sit in the house of Hashem (the Bais Medrash). The Ikar is to not give up on your learning, and as long as you’re asking for Torah, and making learning Torah your Ikar by saying: אַחַת ש א ל ת י just one thing is most important; learning Torah, as it says: ו ת ל מוּדְ תוֹר הְ כ נֶגֶדְְ כֻל םְְפאהְ אְ א learning Torah is equal to all the Mitzvos combined.
It's Not Where You're “Holding” – It’s Where You're “Aiming”
In Tehilim, Dovid says: כ יְ א םְ ב תוֹר תְְה'ְְחֶפְצוֹ תהליםְאְב the main thing is to want to learn, and the true way to combat evil i.e., distancing yourself from: עֲ צ תְר ש ע יםְְדֶ רֶ ךְְח טּ א יםְוּמוֹש בְל צ יםְ the ways of the wicked, is by desiring to learn Torah; otherwise, the Yetzer Hara will Chas V'shalom pull you in the direction of evil.
כ יְ א םְ ב תוֹר תְְה'ְְחֶ פ צוְְֹוּב תוֹר תוְֹ יֶה גֶהְ יוֹמ םְ ו ל י ל ה - you want the real thing תוֹר תְ ְה' Toras Hashem, i.e. learning Li'shmah. However, you must learn: וּב תוֹר ְתוְְֹיֶה גֶה your own Torah, your: ל ְֹּשְֶאְל ְהּמ ְש ְ (non-Li’shmah) may need to occupy you always, as long as: חֶ פ צוֹ your desire is: תוֹר תְְה' Toras Hashem. You don’t have to be “holding” on high Madregos; as long as you keep aiming and desiring the real truth.
This is a Klal in all areas. You may even be in a low Madrega, but as long as you aim high, you are already from the big ones.
Novardok
R’ Chaim Langleben Zatzal told me that the #1 Avoda is not to have Ka'as. Having Ka'as actually means having a cruel Lev, which is typical: י צֶ רְְל בְ ה א ד םְ ר עְ מ נ עֻ ר יו inborn negativity. The more you work on it, the more you become a Rachamim person like Hashem. (In Breslov they say that Rachamim is the opposite of Ka'as. When you pity a person, it stops you from your anger towards him).
Don’t look Down at Yourself Because Of Your Yetzer Hara – Aderaba!
People look down at themselves when they feel a strong Yetzer Hara. But really, every Yid should value himself and say: א ינֶנוְּ ג דוֹלְְ מ מֶ נ י there is no one greater than me; precisely because I have such difficult Nisyonos. And: כ לְה ג דוֹלְמ ח ב רוְֹי צ רוְֹג דוֹל הֵ ימֶ נוְְּ סוכהְנבְא the greater the person, the greater his Yetzer Hara. View yourself as a person who is much higher than your present weakness, and say: How could such a Chashuva person like me fall like this? You should always feel as if the real “you” is much greater than what’s happening now.
The Main Thing Is That You Are Fighting Your Yetzer Hara
R' Chatzkel Levenstein says: מ יְב כֶםְי ר אְה'ְ ... the true Y’rei Shamayim is the: ה ל ךְְ חֲ ש כ יםְ ו א יןְ נֹּג הְּ לוֹ one who walks in “darkness”, i.e., has no Hatzlacha in Torah and Tefila, yet he has Bitachon to overcome everything. Yosef HaTzaddik told Eishes Potiphar: א ינֶנוְּ ג דוֹלְְ ב ב י תְה זֶ הְמ מֶ נ יְְוישבְלטְט I am the greatest person in this house! Chazal
