R’ Chaim Langleben Zatzal told me that the #1 Avoda is not to have Ka'as. Having Ka'as actually means having a cruel Lev, which is typical: ויָרֻﬠְנִּמ עַר םָדָאָה בֵל רֶצֵי inborn negativity. The more you work on it, the more you become a Rachamim person like Hashem. (In Breslov they say that Rachamim is the opposite of Ka'as. When you pity a person, it stops you from your anger towards him.)
Don’t look Down at Yourself Because Of Your Yetzer Hara – Aderaba!
People look down at themselves when they feel a strong Yetzer Hara. But really, every Yid should value himself and say: יִנֶּמִּמ לוֹדָג וּנֶּניֵא there is no one greater than me; precisely because I have such difficult Nisyonos. And: לוֹדָג וֹרְצִי וֹרֵבַחֵמ לוֹדָגַה לָכ ֵה ֶמינוּ סוכה נב א the greater the person, the greater his Yetzer Hara. View yourself as a person who is much higher than your present weakness, and say: How could such a Chashuva person like me fall like this? You should always feel as if the real “you” is much greater than what’s happening now.
R' Chatzkel Levenstein says: ָק˄אֵבּ ןֵﬠָשִּׁיְו 'ה םֵשְׁבּ חַטְבִי וֹל הַּגֹנ ןיֵאְו םיִכֵשֲׁח ˂ַלָה רֶשֲׁא וֹדְּבַﬠ לוֹקְבּ ַﬠֵמֹשׁ 'ה אֵרְי םֶכָב יִמ וי נ היעשיי the true Y’rei Shamayim is the: וֹל הַּגֹנ ןיֵאְו םיִכֵשֲׁח ˂ַלָה one who walks in “darkness”, i.e., has no Hatzlacha in Torah and Tefila, yet he has Bitachon to overcome everything. Yosef HaTzaddik told Eishes Potiphar: וּנֶּניֵא יִנֶּמִּמ הֶזַּה תִיַבַּבּ לוֹדָג ט טל בשיו I am the greatest person in this house! Chazal and the Meforshim say that he was almost Nichshal in Aveira. We can suggest that this is a Remez: יִנֶּמִּמ לוֹדָג וּנֶּניֵא “Since I have such a serious Nisayon, it is a proof of my greatness” (and a person isn’t given a Nisayon that he can’t overcome).
It’s Okay to Fall and Have Difficult Moments
The Alter had tremendous plans of building many Yeshivos and doing Zikkui HaRabbim. He was very unsuccessful, and when he visited Kelm he was on a low. People asked him: “What happened to your Bitachon you had in accomplishing so much??”
The Alter from Kelm noticed his plight, and when he gave a Shmuess, he said nothing besides repeating many times: אוּה רֶשֲׁאַבּ יַחְל יַדיַח How can a person complain if he is alive?? Isn’t that enough Chesed, just being alive? The Alter said that this Shmuess changed his life completely! He had His’orerus in the great fortune of being alive. Later on, he became super successful building thirty or more Yeshivos. The Velt says: Thankful hearts are close to the riches of the universe.
This story teaches us that it’s okay to fall and feel low once in a while. He was a Tzaddik Yesod Olam, and known to be an extremely happy person with his phenomenal Madrega in Bitachon. (He had no fear to build Yeshivos in middle of WWI with bombs flying all over!). Yes, like all human beings, even HE had his difficult moments. We are not Malachim!
